The current teaser on the No True Way site is:
“The Dom is the responsible one.”
My very simple response to this is that I couldn’t disagree more with this if I tried.
Because, ultimately, a D/s relationship is still one that is built on a basis of fairness and equity. Yes, I rely on Master C to give me direction and to provide guidance. I rely on Him to provide me with support and comfort, and I definitely need Him to administer discipline and correction where it is required. It also goes without saying that I absolutely need Him to fuck my subby little brain out on a regular basis to keep me centred and connected.
Yes, in that respect, those things are His “responsibilities”.
But subs also have responsibilities too.
It is my role and my responsibility to look after Master C, both physically and emotionally. I wrote in a recent post about how we express our wants, needs and desires and we are jointly responsible for ensuring that those are articulated and for addressing them.
I discharge my responsibilities by being there to listen to His problems, to provide a sounding board for His ideals, to cheer Him up when He is feeling low and to provide Him with a collection of willing orifices into which he can insert His penis with whatever level of force He feels is appropriate for the circumstances.
I realise that possibly makes it sound a bit one sided, but the simple truth is, when Master C fucks me, He is actually doing it for me just as much as He is doing it for Himself. It is an important part of us maintaining our emotional wellbeing, both as a couple and as individuals. Great sex requires the willing participation of all parties engaging in it to do so fully, to give themselves to their own pleasure and that of the person they are having sex with. Of course there are times when we are concentrating mainly on our own needs; that is a natural part of being a sexual human, but we also need to spend time giving back to those who give to us.
The basic responsibility to provide both partners to support and comfort each other and generally make each other’s lives (and their own) worth living is no different in a D/s relationship than it is in any other relationship. We both have responsibilities to each other, and to ourselves. In these particularly trying times, that support, nurture and comfort is almost certainly the greatest responsibility of all.