Responsibility


The current teaser on the No True Way site is:

“The Dom is the responsible one.”

My very simple response to this is that I couldn’t disagree more with this if I tried.

Why?

Because, ultimately, a D/s relationship is still one that is built on a basis of fairness and equity. Yes, I rely on Master C to give me direction and to provide guidance. I rely on Him to provide me with support and comfort, and I definitely need Him to administer discipline and correction where it is required. It also goes without saying that I absolutely need Him to fuck my subby little brain out on a regular basis to keep me centred and connected.

Yes, in that respect, those things are His “responsibilities”.

But subs also have responsibilities too.

It is my role and my responsibility to look after Master C, both physically and emotionally. I wrote in a recent post about how we express our wants, needs and desires and we are jointly responsible for ensuring that those are articulated and for addressing them.

I discharge my responsibilities by being there to listen to His problems, to provide a sounding board for His ideals, to cheer Him up when He is feeling low and to provide Him with a collection of willing orifices into which he can insert His penis with whatever level of force He feels is appropriate for the circumstances.

I realise that possibly makes it sound a bit one sided, but the simple truth is, when Master C fucks me, He is actually doing it for me just as much as He is doing it for Himself. It is an important part of us maintaining our emotional wellbeing, both as a couple and as individuals. Great sex requires the willing participation of all parties engaging in it to do so fully, to give themselves to their own pleasure and that of the person they are having sex with. Of course there are times when we are concentrating mainly on our own needs; that is a natural part of being a sexual human, but we also need to spend time giving back to those who give to us.

The basic responsibility to provide both partners to support and comfort each other and generally make each other’s lives (and their own) worth living is no different in a D/s relationship than it is in any other relationship. We both have responsibilities to each other, and to ourselves. In these particularly trying times, that support, nurture and comfort is almost certainly the greatest responsibility of all.

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Expressing my needs and wants


To a lot of people, D/s must look like it is weighted entirely of the Dominant partner; with them able to make demands upon the submissive to satisfy their own needs (any satisfaction the submissive derives would, seemingly, be secondary). I can kind of understand where that preconception comes from; D/s imagery does tend to depict the Dominant partner taking what they want from the submissive, inflicting their will upon them, while the submissive simply has to endure whatever treatment their Dominant metes out.

In a way, there is a kernel of “truth” to that view, but it does neglect the fact that the submissive is still human, has wants and needs of their own that need to be addressed and, ultimately, has as much right to withdraw consent as the the Dominant partner. The depictions really only give half the story; they show the “taking” side of the Dominant’s role, but they don’t depict the (in my opinion) even more important aspect, which is the “giving” side; the side that ensures the submissive’s needs are also being met.

So how does this work?

Well, each D/s relationship will have its own “rules” for the wants and needs of each partner are expressed.

Within our relationship, the basic premise is that Master C tells, whereas I ask.  It’s pretty much as simple as that. If Master C tells me that he is going to bend me over the arm of the sofa, spank me, then fuck me hard, I can be reasonably certain that I’m going to get bent over the sofa, have my arse spanked to a lovely warm glowing pinkness that has my cunt on fire, and then He will fuck me.

I should point out that I am allowed to say “no” or “stop”, but if I actually mean it, then it is said in Gaelic. I don’t really have a safe word, I kind of have a safe language.  Master C will happily ignore any sobbed cries of “no!” or “stop”, knowing I am happy for Him to continue. A “chan eil” or “stad” on the other hand, means I’ve had enough, or I’m not enjoying it, or I’m (unlikely as it may seem) just not in the mood. On the rare occasions that this is employed, I can pretty much guarantee that it will result in me having to “atone” in some way for depriving Him, but that’s all part of our dynamic too.

So, what about my needs? Well, as I said, I ask.  There are two ways of doing this, one is the pleading approach, such as, “I really want to feel your lovely cock inside me, will you please fuck me?” or, “Can I please suck your cock?”  The other approach is to phrase it in such a way as if I’m making a suggestion, such as, “My cunt is so wet, would you like to taste?” or “Would you like me to give you a blow-job?” or “Do you want to use my arse as well as my cunt?”.

The approach I adopt will depend, partially on circumstances, and partially on my mood. If Master C is in need of some TLC, I’ll tend to use the “suggestion” method, “Why don’t you just sit back and relax and your dutiful little slut will suck you cock? Would you like that?” If I’m the one that’s being needy, the the “pleading” method is more likely to be employed, “I really need to feel your lovely thick cock inside me. Will you please fuck me? Please?”

Of course, sometimes just happen organically in the moment. A cuddle on the sofa can end up with His cock being in my mouth, or His tongue on my clit before moving on to a slow, sensual shag or us fucking like wild animals on heat. Sometimes our needs take over and we don’t need to air them; we simply do what our bodies and moods dictate. For everything else, communication is the key.

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TMI Tuesday – Everybody Should Be Doing It


1. Agree or Disagree. If people want to have more than one spouse they should be allowed to do that.
Absolutely. If they don’t want to get married, that’s good too. I realise that marriage is largely a “legal” arrangement but if people want to form so called “plural marriages” then fine. That said, even though I am unashamedly poly, that wouldn’t be for me. I am happier with the more “traditional” single spouse (although we aren’t actually married) arrangement but that we are free to share outside our relationship

2. Do you believe in ethical non-monogamy?
I’d have to be deeply hypocritical not to given that this pretty much describes how I live. Master C allows me the freedom to explore my sexual needs and to enjoy sex with whomever I like so long as I am aware that there are consequences to my actions and I am willing to pay those consequences. I don’t need to ask permission to have sex with other men, but I do have to ask for forgiveness and accept whatever punishment Master C determines is appropriate for my “transgression”. Accepting those consequences is something I do willingly and without reservation.

3. Is polyamory something you want?
See answers 1 & 2 above. We also have a small circle of other likeminded D/s couples with whom we share ; either individually or as couples and, occasionally, as a larger group.  In addition to the random men/women I fuck, I also have my “regular friends with benefits”, i.e. “The Other Guy” and “The Girl”. Sadly, 2020 being the way it has been, there has been little chance to enjoy any of these outside arrangements this year.

4. Do you wish that your ethical non-monogamy was a societal/cultural norm?
It doesn’t bother me. It is a “norm” for us and it works and we’re happy with it in the context of our relationship. We don’t care what outsiders think because it’s really no one’s business except ours and the people we share with.

5. If you are in or have been in an open sexual relationship, what are the best bits?
I think I already have. Basically my relationship allows me the freedom to explore and satisfy my sexual desires and needs and provides a framework where I don’t have to feel guilt about acting on simple/primal human urge. Nether of us has to force ourselves to be confined by the constraints of monogamy and, given that we’ve been together for 15 years (give or take a month or so), I’d say it seems to work well for us.

Bonus: Describe what your ideal intimate and/or sexual relationship would look like today.
I would say I am already living my idea sexual relationship. Having said that, I do look forward to a time in the hopefully not to distant future when Master C and I can share within our circle again and I can spend some time with “The Other Guy” and “The Girl”.  Being able to have a drunken blow-job/fuck in an alleyway with stranger again would be nice too. I know I can do the latter with Master C, and we have, but it doesn’t quite have the same sense of deliciously filthy sluttiness when it’s with the one you love.

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Getting fucked


I can’t say that I’ve ever thought of fucking as a kink; it’s really just something that I do (or have done to me) and that I enjoy, A LOT! Over a period of 30+ years, since that very first time when I purposely discarded my virginity, right up to the one I had this morning, getting fucked is something that I relish.

I can’t tell you how many cocks I’ve had inside me (I could probably work it out but really, who is interested?) and I certainly don’t remember every time I’ve been fucked (although there have been some truly memorable fucks as well as those that have been long forgotten), but even where the actual fuck may not have been what I’d hoped for, or needed, I’m pretty certain the circumstances of the fuck, the anticipation, the build up, the moment of first penetration meant that none of them were entirely unenjoyable; from the drunken, late night, back-alley fumbled quickie, all the way through to the most prolonged and protracted, climax filled, weekend long fuckfest (possibly with multiple partners), fucking is simply something that I cannot get enough of.

Cocks, come in all shapes and sizes, and the range of skill with which they are used has almost infinite variety. The same cock can feel completely different depending on the circumstances in which it finds itself in me, depending on the kind of fuck that it is giving me, depending on which hole it is fucking.

And that’s the thing, it’s not just my cunt or my arse that I let get fucked; my mouth/throat are just as receptive to being roughly taken by a cock, of being used, of being taken and filled by a cock repeatedly thrusting into it. When a man grabs my head and roughly fucks my mouth, it is every bit as intense, every bit as rewarding as when he garbs my hips and drives his cock deep into my cunt or my arse. I readily and happily accept that all my holes are available for fucking, whether it be one cock fucking each in turn, or multiple cocks fucking me simultaneously.

The simple truth is, there are very few things in life that give me as much pleasure and sense of self-fulfilment as a fucking good fucking.

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Feel good cuddle fucks


Sometimes I like to have my brains fucked out. Sometimes I like to have long, slow, passionate love made to me. Sometimes though, I just want to have sex; not because I’m feeling randy, nor because I specifically crave the release of orgasm, but simply because it feels so good.

I’m a very touchy feely person. Master C is equally tactile. Sometimes we have sex, not because we simply have to have each other, but because, at its most basic level, sex is simply the most intimate form of touching.

I’m also a self-confessed cuddle whore. I love the closeness, I love the feeling of protection I get from having a pair of big strong arms around me. Touch, cuddling and sex all fit nicely together.

Now, I like cuddles even when they don’t involve sex, but when they do, it can be fantastic.

It’s not essential that I come. Sometimes I will, and that’s a bonus, but the important thing is that it just feels nice. It’s relaxed, generally slow, no-one is particularly in charge, we’re just simply enjoying each other’s company and each other’s bodies. When, as inevitably, Master C comes, we just hold each other, kissing, caressing and sharing a feeling of intensely intimate closeness and contentedness.

Yes, I know, usually I’m a filthy little slut who likes it hard and rough, but deep down, I’m still a soppy romantic at heart.

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You said “foo foo”. Our survey said…


Pussy, twat, twinkle cave, flower, fanny (mostly UK, particularly Scotland and Northern Ireland), fud, growler, foo foo, sex, mound, box, cunt, CUNT, CUNT!!

The English language apparently has over 1,000 recognised euphemisms for the female genitalia. I’ve listed a few, off the top of my head, above. Seriously though, 1,000 euphemisms? Somehow I can’t quite see Nick Knowles ever asking contestants to name as many of those as they can come up with on the Saturday night lottery “Who Dares Wins” quiz show… And as for a question on Family Fortunes: “We asked 100 people for a euphemism for vagina…”, Can you imagine it?

Being Scottish, I’ve always quite liked “fanny”; there’s something humorously endearing about it. As often as not, we use it as a moderately insulting term for someone who annoys us, as in: “See him, he’s a right fanny!”, or when someone is dithering, as in: “Stop fuckin’ fannyin’ aroon an get oan wi’ it!” We might even describe someone who is a bit dim as a “Fannyheid”. It’s probably for these reasons that the word “fanny” as a term for vagina has, largely dropped out of use, increasingly replaced by the almost ubiquitous, “pussy”.

Now, we Scots being who we are, are not only increasingly using pussy instead of fanny when referring to a vagina, it’s also beginning to replace fanny in the contexts quoted above as in: “Stop being a pussy” or “Stop pussying about”. I don’t think I’ve encountered the term “Pussyheid” yet, but I’m sure it’s time will come.

Personally, I’ve never liked referring to my lady-bits as a pussy. Firstly, simply down to the fact that for most of my adult life, I’ve kept mine smooth, so there is no luxuriant fur to stroke and secondly because, well, it’s a bit limp really. This is the bit of our body that when used and abused in the right ways, ignites a pleasure in us that the company of a house pet can never match (and if it can, I seriously worry about you). A pussy is a soft and cuddly domestic animal which, fair enough, can be a vicious beast at times, sleeps a lot and needs constant feeding and affection.

OK, so, it’s true, some of the above also applies to my vagina but only in the most oblique of ways.

No, for me, the descriptive word is “Cunt”. It has such a vulgar, earthy sound to it, it rolls satisfyingly off the tongue and is of good, solid, old Germanic/Scandiwegian/Anglo Saxon origin.

A cunt sounds like something that wants, no, deserves to be pummelled and pounded until its owner is a quivering, orgasmic wreck. A cunt sounds like it is there to be invaded, impaled, filled and abused. A cunt sounds as if it was designed for filthy, deviant, sometimes painful but ultimately enjoyable and satisfying things to be done to it, and for them to be done again and again, over and over until all parties are satiated. Whereas a pussy should be petted and stroked, a cunt deserves to be taken, used and fucked.

Another advantage is, that in the derogatory sense, calling someone who is pissing you off a “cunt” is infinitely more satisfying than calling them either a “pussy” or a “fanny”.

Fanny will always hold a soft (and moistly warm) spot in my soul but it’s my cunt that routinely gets fucked.

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Is it in the genes?


What is it that makes us who we are? What drives our sexual urges, appetites, and preferences? Is it nature or is it nurture? Is it something completely random?

Take my sister and me, for example. My sister is three years older than me. To all intents and purposes, our DNA is pretty much identical. We’re about the same height, the same build (albeit my boobs are bigger, but she has a nicer arse), we have the same colour hair, and the same colour eyes. We share a very similar sense of humour, and in most respects, very similar personalities. However, when it comes to sex and sexuality, we couldn’t be more different.

That’s not to say my sister doesn’t enjoy sex as much as I do, because I’m pretty certain she does. Nor has she been without her share of sexual partners; although unlike me, all of her partners have been male.

Whereas I am openly and actively bisexual, my sister has no inclination towards girls. She can appreciate female beauty, she is not attracted sexually to other women.

Another difference between us is that casual sex is not her thing. She’s had a couple of flings between relationships, whereas, you could almost say, I’ve had a few relationships between flings.

I know, she’s never had sex with more than one person at a time, and while she isn’t averse to anal, it’s not a big feature of her repertoire; saving it “special occasions”.

One thing we do have in common is our love of giving blow-jobs. Given that I have previously recounted how I almost walked into her, mid-suck, this didn’t surprise me. Like me, she is also a swallower.

We both enjoy our toys, we both enjoy sex in slightly risky situations, we both enjoy it hard and, sometimes, a little rough, but whereas I enjoy a good thrashing from Master C’s belt, and I have some very obvious submissive tendencies (to put it mildly), my sister is much more vanilla in her tastes. She enjoys the occasional spanking, likes to be restrained from time to time, but by and large, kink is just an occasional bit of fun to spice things up. Anyone who is a regular reader of this blog, will know that for me, kink defines what Master C and I do.

So how is it that two people who have the same genetic heritage, have had the same upbringing, be so different. What made my sister the almost model of sexual respectability, while I am wanton slut? What makes us so different in our sexual appetites and tastes?

Oh, and while I’m at it, why is she able to hold her drink so much better than me?.

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Just take me…


As I’ve mentioned before, I’m am very much a submissive and I love to be dominated. I don’t necessarily mean in a sadomasochistic/bondage kind of way (although, I’m not averse to being restrained on occasion), but just that I like to be taken in a way where when Master C does things to me, it’s simply because it’s what He wants to do and not because He is trying to respond to what I might want. In these situations my pleasure derives solely from the fact that Master C is taking His pleasure from me, doing what He does because He wants to and is enjoying it.

There’s something decidedly primal about it. It doesn’t have to be rough (although it often can be, and that’s fine too), it’s just knowing that Master C is going to take me and do to me as He pleases, and I just have to take whatever is dished out.

It’s the knowing that, when Master C sucks on my boobs, it’s because that’s what He wants to do, and not because He knows I like it. When Master C forces his cock between my lips, into my mouth and deep into the back of my throat, chocking me with its fullness as His strong hand tightens around my neck, it’s because He wants to feel my throat tighten around the swollen head, starving me of oxygen. When Master C sinks his cock into my cunt and begins to fuck me, it’s because of His sexual urge, His most basic need. In that particular moment, the fact that it’s me that Master C’s fucking is immaterial, all that matters is that His cock is inside a tight, warm, wet and willing cunt and that He is going to keep fucking it until He comes. It’s the fact that no matter how caring and considerate a lover Master C is (and believe me, He is usually very considerate), at this particular moment, He is being driven by His own ‘selfish’ sexual desire; my needs are of no consequence and that I’m simply there as a means to facilitate His desire. I am there to yield to Him, to give myself to Him utterly, to receive Him and to be used by Him.

It’s the knowing how much Mater C is enjoying having His way with my body that gives me my pleasure (that, combined with the fact that I’m still getting a bloody good seeing-to). I may not always come in these situations (but I frequently do) but it still leaves me with a deep sense of satisfaction; to have been taken so utterly, so completely, to have been used for His fulfilment, to have Him collapse on top of me, breathless and drained, pinning me beneath Him, His cum warm inside me or on my skin.

Don’t get me wrong, I like tenderness, I like consideration, I love the deep emotional connection of mutual pleasure, but sometimes, what it all boils down to is, I just want to be fucked and I know I can depend on Master C to do just that whenever the urge takes Him.

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It’s as if he hates me


Sometimes I like to be abused. When Master C calls me a filthy little bitch, or a dirty whore, punctuating His words with slaps across my cheeks that bring tears to my eyes and set my cunt juices flowing.

When Master C bends me over his knee, yanks my knickers down and spanks me hard until I cry, I get a warm feeling inside.

When His belt cuts into the skin of my arse cheeks and Master C tells me that I’m a worthless slut who deserves to be punished, my desire to feel His cock inside me grows.

When Master C rams his cock forcefully down my throat, making choke and splitter, I can’t wait to taste His cum.

As Master C fucks me hard from behind, abusing my cunt or my arse, I love it when He tugs my hair, pulling my head back as far as my neck will allow. All the time He fucks me, He’s telling me how I’m just a collection of holes to be used, abused and filled with cum.

When Master C comes all over my face, degrading me, showing His utmost contempt for me as He wipes His cock in my hair, I know I am His, and that I belong to Him.

Later, as Master C holds me close in bed, His strong arms enveloping and protecting me, I am grateful to be His.

Yes, I love it when Master C fucks me like He hates me.

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Degrading or delightful?


Porn, it must be said, is obsessed with the visibility of the male orgasm. It’s not very often that the guy actually comes inside the woman. In the vast majority of cases the woman sits there in open-mouthed expectation while, from almost point blank range, he manages to almost completely miss her mouth and covers her face in a thick load of cum, in a way that many of porn’s critics say is humiliating and degrading.

And here’s the thing, the critics are right. There is, in my opinion, little that is more humiliating than having a load of cum dumped over your face, unless, of course, its having several loads of cum dumped on your face. If nothing else, it show a contemptuous lack of respect for the woman. Far from sex being a loving, passionate shared experience, it becomes an act of male control and degradation of women. That doesn’t, however, necessarily make it a bad thing. In fact, I love having it done to me.

For Him, it is a control thing, a marking of His ownership in a contemptuous fashion; He’s fucked me, taken His pleasure from me, and with a total disrespect for me, He inflicts the ultimate humiliation of deciding I am unworthy of receiving Mis seed, and marking me for the filthy, worthless slut that I am.

Now, I accept that this might not be everyone’s cup of tea but, as I said above, I happen to love it.

I am, you see, a self-confessed cum-slut. I have a fascination for the substance. I am, as I have admitted to on many occasions, hopelessly submissive, and I love to be dominated. I love Master C’s cum wherever it ends up; inside me or on me, but there is something especially deliciously dirty about getting it all over my face. It makes me feel used, it makes me feel slutty and, perhaps bizarre, it makes me feel appreciated.

This may seem a little strange to an outsider, but it does, to me at least, make a perverse kind of sense. You see, as much as Master C is marking His possession of me, at the same time, He is confirming that I am His; it’s a renewal of our commitment to each other in a filthy  warm, sticky liquid way. In that way, far from being disrespectful or humiliating, Master C is paying me the compliment of letting me know that He is proud to have me as His filthy, submissive slut.

Love, and affection can be shown in many different ways, and in our D/s relationship, this is simply one of the ways Master C shows His appreciation of me. I accept that some people not used to the D/s scene may find this strange, but it means so much to me. I am His, and when He comes all over my face, Master C is confirming both His ownership of me and my status as His submissive little slut. He is also satisfying my love of this wonderful substance.

One word of warning though, however much a woman might love being drenched in cum, just try not to get it in her hair…

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