I’ve never been fond of the term “making love”. To me, love is something that you feel, not something that you do. That’s not to say that having sex doesn’t make you feel loved, it can, and when it does, it can add a whole other level of intensity to proceedings; but sex and love are not the same thing, and you can have one with, or without the other.
I like to use the word “fuck”. It’s coarse, it’s earthy, it just sounds right for an act that, when we get right down to it, is basically an animalistic coupling. Yes, sex can be gentle and tender and, dare I say it, loving; and it is great, but it can also be rough, and hard, and, well, animal, and that’s pretty damned amazing too.
I also quite like “shag”. I’m not sure if I can differentiate between a shag and a fuck, or even possibly a screw (although that’s not a term I particularly like), but that’s not important. The thing is, you can fuck, shag, or screw someone without loving them; I know I certainly have.
I’ve never really understood the euphemistic term: “sleep with”. Yes, OK, so I have (literally) slept with a few of the partners, both male and female, that I’ve had sex with, but there have been more than a few guys where no sleeping was involved whatsoever. Similarly, I have shared a bed with (so, again, literally slept with) a guy and not had sex with him. So, generally, it’s a term I avoid.
Euphemisms and slang aside, I will generally just describe it as “sex” or “having sex”. Granted, in the heat of passion, I have never huskily whispered the words “Have sex with me,” into a partner’s ear. I have, however demanded, quite forcefully on occasion, that said partner should “Fuck me!” and that sometimes they should “Fuck me harder!”. Could you possibly imagine asking someone to “Make love to me harder”? No, didn’t think so.
On a similar vein, I have absolutely never asked some one to make love to me in the arse, although I have very definitely asked, begged, pleaded, demanded to have my arse thoroughly fucked.
Sex is our most basic, animal pleasure. For me, words like “fuck” and “shag” have an animal quality that fits so well. And, as Tina Turner once said, “What’s love got to do with it?”