Focus


The current teaser on the ‘No True Way‘ site is:

Stop “trying” to be a good sub… because that’s focusing on “you”…
Focus on Him…
His needs, His wants, His desires…
And everything will fall into place

I must admit, that I have conflicting feelings on this subject.

On the one hand, I agree that part of submission, for me at least, is focussing on Master C and his needs, wants and desires. With this, there is an expectation that I will strive to be and do the best that I can in whatever I do, whether that involves a task He has set me, accepting His discipline or sucking His cock. I’ve alluded to this many times, but a major part of my submission to Master C is that He provides me with the instruction and guidance to be a better me. My submission to Master C isn’t just about serving Him and attending to His needs, it is about my own personal growth. When Master C encourages me, He is building me up, letting me know that I have done well. When Master C disciplines me, He is letting me know that I have, in some way, performed beneath myself and that He expects me to learn from this and do better.

The upshot is, that not only am I trying to be a good submissive, I am striving to be the best submissive I can be. And the reason I do this is because that is what Master C expects of me and, in doing so, I am addressing a need and desire in Him to help me.

The flip side of this is that my submission to Master C is centred around Him. In this sense, being a “good” submissive is all about focussing on His needs, wants and desires. It’s about providing Him with support, comfort and companionship. It’s about providing Him with forms of intimacy: the physical, emotional, intellectual, creative, experiential and, of course sexual. It’s about being someone for Him to love, but also someone to use and fuck; providing Him with outlets for that duality that resides in all of us, the tender, caring, unselfish love and the primal, primitive animal. It’s about giving Him reasons to discipline me and accepting such punishments in a way that He knows He is providing me with opportunities to grow. A lot of it is about sucking His cock.

For me, the primary focus of being a “good” submissive will always be about Master C, however that always reflects back on me. The ego cannot be switched off. I want to “serve” Master C and the ultimate reward for my “service” is for Him to call me His “good girl”.

In a way, for me at least, D/s is a kind of symbiotic relationship; I crave Master C’s  recognition of my “service” and that will always mean that I strive even harder to please Him and make Him proud of me. I need to attend to His needs, I want to be the outlet for His wants, I desire to provide for His desires. I am not directly focussing on me, but my sense of self-worth is inextricably bound up in my submission to Master C. That is a bond that cannot be severed and, even if it could, I wouldn’t want to.

Ultimately, both Master C and I expect me to not only be a good submissive, but to be the best version of myself that, with his guidance, support and direction, I can be.

No True Way Blogging Meme Badge Tell Me About... Blogging Meme Badge

His pleasure = my reward


The current teaser on the No True Way site is:

Pleasing the Dom is the sub’s reward

When I read this, it immediately rang true with me. Nothing makes me happier than knowing I have pleased Master C or made Him happy. I don’t need to be showered with lavish gifts as a reward for my efforts; al I really need is a lovely thick load of cum and to hear Master C say the words “Good girl!”

For me, there is absolutely no higher praise than this.

When Master C calls me His “Good girl”, it means I have excelled in some way, in the performance of a task or the way I have reacted when He has disciplined me.

When I have sucked his cock and He has come in my mouth, and I am cleaning up those last drops of cum, those two words, coupled with His loving smile and the inevitable hint of mischief in His eyes tells me that I have outdone myself, that I have helped Him unwind and destress, that He is truly appreciative of my efforts in what I have done for Him.

It isn’t just about sex though; often it’s just the little things, helping Him find some misplaced object around the house, preparing a favourite meal, generally being there to support and comfort Him when He needs it in the same way that He supports and comforts me when I am the needy one.

It’s not so much about “serving” Him, it’s about being as important a part of His life as Master C is of mine. Knowing Master C is happy goes a very long way, particularly in these troubled times, to making me happy. Getting back to sex, knowing I am responsible for Master C’s pleasure, whether I be giving it to Him, or He is taking it from me, also contributes to my own. The same, of course, is true in reverse. I know that Master C takes a great deal of pleasure from the pleasure He gives me.

In this, and every other respect, Master C and I are very much a partnership; I submit to Him and accept His Dominance because it helps me to be a better version of me. The flipside to this is that my submission also provides support, comfort, and companionship for Him (in addition to a trio of holes to fuck whenever the mood takes Him). We complement each other, physically, emotionally and sexually and our D/s dynamic is part of how we express this.

So while I absolutely and unquestionably agree that pleasing Him rewards me, I know with absolute certainty that Master C is equally rewarded by the pleasure I derive from being with (and being fucked by) Him.

No True Way Blogging Meme Badge

My “reality”


The current teaser on the ‘No True Way‘ site is:

Real D/s dynamics are 24/7

Not surprisingly, this got me thinking about my life, my relationship with Master C and or particular D/s dynamic.

First of, who am I and what is my “reality”?

Well, my name, perhaps un surprisingly, is Morag. I am a white, cis, bisexual, submissive woman, who is ginger, Scottish and, at the time of writing, in her mid(ish) 40s. I’m 5’7″/1.77m tall, my boobs measure 36/91C and weight is my own business. I live with Master C and have done so for 12+ years (we’ve been together for just over 15) and he is both my life partner and my Master. I am not His wife, nor am I His, girlfriend; I am His submissive and I am His slut, and very happily so.

Our D/s dynamic has evolved over over the years to it’s present form. What we have, doesn’t really fit any of the more “common” D/s labels; it isn’t a Master/slave arrangement, nor is it a Daddy/babygirl one or a Teacher/student one. If any descriptor comes close it would be that Master C  is my patient, if long-suffering, protector and guide, and I am His unrepentant, bratty, slut.

So that is who I am and a very quick “definition” of the relationship and dynamic I share with Master C.

So, is it real?

Well, it is our lives, so it’s is as “real” as any perceived experience. Of course, since no two people perceive the same thing in precisely the same way, my “reality” will no doubt have difference from “Master C’s” reality; we have, after all, our own sensory interpretations to the world around us, and our brains will interpret those differently, but there are degrees of overlap. Even when we are at our most intimate, these things will have different perspectives.  We will both be aware of the fact that He is fucking my cunt or arse, or that He is eating me out, or that I am giving Him a blow-job, but we will perceive these differently by virtue of the fact that we are experiencing the same thing from the perspective of the giver or received; how He feels His cock feels inside my mouth, cunt or arse will be different from how I feel His cock in my moth, cunt or arse, even though we are both feeling His cock in my mouth, cunt or arse. We are experiencing the same thing, but we are feeling and experiencing it differently according to our own roles.

Is it 24/7?

Well, life is 24/7, but does our dynamic exist 24/7? Am I still His bratty slut when we are both asleep, are we “living our dynamic” when we are both going about our individual jobs/tasks/activities? If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?

Subconsciously, I would say that the answer is “yes”. We don’t stop being in a relationship just because we aren’t in each other’s presence. I am still in a relationship with Him when I am at work, or the gym (remember those) or in the supermarket. Master C is still in a relationship with me when He is working, or out with His friends for an after work drink (again, remember those?). We don’t stop being in a relationship just because we aren’t physically in each other’s presence, so what about our dynamic? Am I still His slut when I’m not being fucked, or misbehaving in a way that will earn correction from Him? Am I still His slut when I’m sat at my desk, listening to people discuss their lives and their problems? Is Master C still my Dominant when He is on call, when He is treating patients, when He’s driving to/from work?

I suspect, the answer, again subconsciously, is “yes”. Our D/s dynamic is part of our relationship, and if our relationship is always there, then it sort of follows that our dynamic is there too. We might not be actively participating in our dynamic, but it’s still there. I may not be sitting in my Counsellor’s chair listening to people’s concerns, squirming as my favourite butt-plug fills me, or my nipples scream in protest at the claps they are squeezed between, but I have been know to go shopping or to the pub, or cinema, or some other “in public” occasion plugged and clamped. My clothing may mean that it isn’t appropriate to wear my collar in every circumstance, but again, I have worn it suitably concealed in a number of locations where it would raise a few eyebrows if it were noticed.

My collar, the butt-plugs, the ben-wa balls, the nipple-clamps, the bruises on my arse, they are all expressions of our D/s dynamic, but they aren’t the totality of it. When Master C rubs my shoulders, or runs me a bath after a long, tough day, He is still being my supportive, nurturing Dominant just as much as when He is thrashing me with His belt to provide me with a necessary rebalancing. When I listen to Him describe the stresses of His day at work, fetch Him a beer from the fridge, I am still being Hs caring, supportive submissive, just as much as when I’m relieving His stress with a blow-job. We are still Dominant and submissive when we are snuggling comfortably on the sofa just as much as when we fucking vigorously on it.

A D/s relationship is, first and foremost, a relationship; it is still a partnership. It has forms and protocols but it exists whether those are being actively participated in or not.

So while we might not be actively and visibly D/s in our behaviour all day and every day, our D/s dynamic is real to us and, when you boil it right down, that is the only “reality” that matters.

No True Way Blogging Meme Badge

Responsibility


The current teaser on the ‘No True Way‘ site is:

The Dom is the responsible one.

My very simple response to this is that I couldn’t disagree more with this if I tried.

Why?

Because, ultimately, a D/s relationship is still one that is built on a basis of fairness and equity. Yes, I rely on Master C to give me direction and to provide guidance. I rely on Him to provide me with support and comfort, and I definitely need Him to administer discipline and correction where it is required. It also goes without saying that I absolutely need Him to fuck my subby little brain out on a regular basis to keep me centred and connected.

Yes, in that respect, those things are His “responsibilities”.

But subs also have responsibilities too.

It is my role and my responsibility to look after Master C, both physically and emotionally. I wrote in a recent post about how we express our wants, needs and desires and we are jointly responsible for ensuring that those are articulated and for addressing them.

I discharge my responsibilities by being there to listen to His problems, to provide a sounding board for His ideals, to cheer Him up when He is feeling low and to provide Him with a collection of willing orifices into which he can insert His penis with whatever level of force He feels is appropriate for the circumstances.

I realise that possibly makes it sound a bit one sided, but the simple truth is, when Master C fucks me, He is actually doing it for me just as much as He is doing it for Himself. It is an important part of us maintaining our emotional wellbeing, both as a couple and as individuals. Great sex requires the willing participation of all parties engaging in it to do so fully, to give themselves to their own pleasure and that of the person they are having sex with. Of course there are times when we are concentrating mainly on our own needs; that is a natural part of being a sexual human, but we also need to spend time giving back to those who give to us.

The basic responsibility to provide both partners to support and comfort each other and generally make each other’s lives (and their own) worth living is no different in a D/s relationship than it is in any other relationship. We both have responsibilities to each other, and to ourselves. In these particularly trying times, that support, nurture and comfort is almost certainly the greatest responsibility of all.

No True Way Blogging Meme Badge

Protocols


I touched on “protocols” in my last post, but then I came across this quote on the ‘No True Way‘ site:

Protocol means different things to different people but everyone can agree that a lot, if not all of it, has to do with respect.

Within the relationship Master C and I share, there are certain things that we do. I wouldn’t call them rules as such, it’s just the accepted way that our relationship works. In my last post, I mentioned how we both communicate our wants, needs and desires, which is an important part of how we “work”. There are, however, other aspects to it as well.

I have made countless references to the fact that our relationship is non-monogamous. We have our sharing circle, with whom we have absolute freedom to do what we please with whomever we please, so long as they are also happy to participate. We can share as a couple, or as individuals with other couples, or individuals within the circle, in whatever combination of participants there happen to be. Outside of this, I have “The Other Guy” and “The Girl” (the latter with whom Master C  also enjoys sharing with on occasion). Sexual sharings within the circle are, by and large, “consequence free” in so much as I do not have to submit to any form of discipline should such a sharing happen and I freely admit to it. I am, however, free to perform an act of “contrition” should I have any pangs of guilt about these encounters; and you might be amazed at just how contrite I can contrive to be if it means getting to wrap my lips around Master C’s lovely cock, but I digress.

However, it is accepted that I am, quite irredeemably, an insatiable, cock hungry slut. Rather than suppress my urges, I am allowed to indulge them so long as I both freely confess my transgressions, and freely accept whatever Master C decides is the appropriate punishment for them.  And this is where the trust comes in. Master C trusts me to confess to these encounters and to be able to describe them in the most minute detail to allow Him to determine the appropriate degree of chastisement. I, on the other hand, put my trust in Him to deliver the punishment I deserve for whatever transgression I have committed.

As a general rule, giving some random guy a blow-job will earn me a spanking; fucking him will earn me the belt. Wherever possible, I try to earn the belt but sometimes I just can’t help myself and have to accept that I’m only going to get a spanking.

In those seemingly long-ago, pre-Covid days, the most severe punishment was a form or ritual humiliation in front of other members of the sharing circle. Sometimes I wold have to endure having to watch Master C getting His lovely cock sucked by one (or more) of the other women in the circle as I sat, naked and bound, unable to participate. On other occasions, I would have to serve the men of the circle; sucking their cocks, being spanked, being fucked only for them to empty their loads of cum over me rather than in my mouth.

Of course, sometimes I was part of the punishment; some other disobedient submissive had to sit and watch me attend to their Dominant, unable to do anything more than watch as I earned the reward for my attentions in front of their eyes.

Ultimately, however, in all of these situations, it all boils down to trust; trust between each of the D/s couplings and the strength of their relationship, and trust between the participants in any given scenario that the rules and protocols of what goes on between members of the circle will be respected.

And that is the other key word, “respect”, and I truly believe that trust and respect in these situations are inextricably linked and that one cannot exist without the other.

No True Way Blogging Meme Badge

Maintaining me


My submission is a form of self-care, in that I am placing my wellbeing in His hands because Master C knows what support I need and what form it needs to be provided in. When Master C lays his belt on my skin, it is every bit as much for me as it is for Him.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a spanking as much as any nasty little slutty submissive, but when I really need a restoration of my equilibrium, the only thing that will really provide this is His belt.

People looking in from the outside might just see it as a way for Master C to inflict pain, but it is amazing how, in that moment, just how centring and rebalancing a thrashing can be. I literally rediscover myself in the kiss of His belt on my skin.

With each deliciously painful, stinging lash, it breaks me down, allows the worries, stresses tensions and fears to be released and then, when, with the hot tears still stinging in my eyes,  Master C takes me, uses me, fucks me; it rebuilds me and makes me whole again. It restores my being. I need the pain, I need the biting kiss of the leather on my skin, I need the heat as the glow spreads over the surface of my arse; a heat that spreads to my cunt, making me wet and hungry to have His cock inside me.

I realise that people may find it strange, but it is a very basic need within me; the need to be taken apart and rebuilt; a need that Master C knows so well and is most wonderfully attentive to.

When I thank Him (frequently with a blow-job), I am thanking Master C for the pain of the thrashing, the pleasure of the climaxes He elicits from me, and the restoration of self that the combination of pain and pleasure gives me. That “thank you” blow-job is as much a part of the process as the thrashing itself; it is a vital as the fuck that follows His belt and is part of the aftercare. It is where Master C gives me that opportunity to enjoy my newly recentred balance by indulging in something that, in doing it, in sucking His wonderful cock, I derive as much pleasure from as Master C receives in having me suck it.

This year has been so shit in so many ways, and I simply couldn’t have endured it without Master C. He has given me support and strength, nurture and guidance, direction and correction, but most of all He has given me love; He has given me Him. For that I am truly blessed and grateful.

No True Way Blogging Meme Badge submission 365 Blogging Meme Badge 4 Thoughts Or Fiction Blogging Meme Badge