I have to admit, I never really give a lot of thought to the mechanics of sex and their impact on the greater world of sexual politics; basically, if I enjoy it, then, fuck yeah, do it to me baby, is about as deep and philosophical as I get on the subject. However, with sex, as with all things in life, there is a certain power balance between men and women, and that balance is generally tilted in the direction of the man.
When we get right down to it, no matter how much we women enjoy it, or how enthusiastically we participate, the truth is that most sexual activities involve things that are done to us. It is, at the end of the day, our cunts and our arses that are being penetrated and it is his cock that is doing the penetrating. Now, that’s fine, that’s the way nature designed us. As a woman, my body is made to receive, and believe me, I do enjoy being receptive; and the more forcefully a man gives, the more receptive I become.
Even the language of sex is orientated towards the male perspective. We talk about women being “taken”, I will tell Master C that I want Him to “use” me, or that He“owns” me. And, if we’re being brutally honest with ourselves, even our own bodies conspire against us, given that it takes us much longer, generally, to get off than it does for men.
There are a couple of activities however, where the balance shifts. The first is the humble hand-job and the second is the blow-job. With these two activities, it is us women doing it to the men. OK, so ultimately it still leads to his orgasm, but we have the power to grant or deny that release.
I gave my first blow-job at the tender age of 14. It was a special present for my then boyfriend’s 15th birthday. With my lack of experience, I probably wasn’t very good, but as it was the first time that the recipient had ever had his cock sucked, he was hardly in a position to make comparisons. But even then, at that young age, with no experience at all, and a cock in my mouth for the first time, and me wondering if I was doing it right, the thing I became increasingly aware of was that I was in charge. The stirrings in his cock were down to me, the moans of pleasure were down to me. Even when he put his hand on the back of my head, trying to force his cock deeper into my throat, that was all down to me. He was going to cum, and that was down to me. I could choose to tease him, I could deny him his release and that too, would be down to me.
Actually, I was kidding myself a bit about denying him, given the novelty of the experience, he blew his load pretty quickly, but that in itself was confirmation; I had caused a boy to completely lose control; he couldn’t have stopped himself from cumming even if he had wanted to, and that was all down to me, and the feeling of power it gave me was an immense turn-on.
As I grew in cock-sucking experience, I learned that my mouth could be used pretty much like a weapon, to give or deny a man pleasure at my choosing.
There is a contradiction to the blow-job. When you look at it in one way, getting down on your knees in front of a man and taking his cock in your mouth seems like one of the most submissive and subservient things a woman can do, and to an extent, this is true. I love it when Master C orders me to get down on my knees and suck His cock, or when He force-feeds His cock to me after it’s been in my cunt, and it is covered in my juices. But, at the same time, however submissive I am, and however submissive the act of sucking His cock may appear on the outside, knowing I have the power to grant or deny a man release, puts me, the cock-sucker, in a very dominant position over the cock-suckee.
Of course, most of the time, when I’m sucking a cock, I’m not thinking any of these things, I’m simply enjoying having my lips wrapped around a glorious piece of man-meat. Whether it’s part of foreplay that’s going to progress to me getting my brains well and truly fucked out, or whether I’m doing it simply because I think the man in question deserves a blow-job and I’m going to hungrily swallow down his cum at the end, doesn’t really matter. At the end of the day, I’m a cock-sucking slut, who loves the feeling of a cock sliding between my lips, along my tongue until the swollen head lodges in the back of my throat, making me cough and my eyes water.
Sometimes, however, I take great satisfaction in knowing that, for as long as I have a cock in my mouth, I’m in charge…