The prompt for Mindful Moments this month covers the subject of shame. In a way, this post is something of a follow-up to the previous post I submitted to this meme. It is, however, taken from something of an opposing viewpoint; largely on the grounds that, growing up, I was taught that sex was natural, to be enjoyed and it was not something that I should ever fell ashamed about. That is an attitude that, more or less, I have managed to live by and why, as documented in my previous post, I proudly consider myself to be a slut.
A case in point to my unashamedly slutty nature is my attitude towards casual sex. It is something I have always and, still do enjoy, and something that Master C lets me enjoy so long as I am prepared to accept the consequences for my actions and submit to His discipline when I transgress.
Now, when it comes to casual sex, the relationship status of the person I’m fucking has never been a concern of mine. Singles, committeds, engageds, marrieds; I’ve fucked them all with a totally clear conscience. At the end of the day, the reason I indulge in casual sex is that I enjoy having sex. I’m not looking for a relationship, I already have a fully rewarding one with Master C; I’m simply looking for sex. If the person I’m having sex with is already in a relationship, how they justify their actions is up to them; I’m not going to judge them on their unfaithfulness, although I may judge them on how good or bad the sex turns out to be.
As I see it, if some guy would rather spend an hour, or an evening, sticking his cock in my holes rather than those of his partner/girlfriend/wife, then that is wholly and entirely up to them; I don’t need to know about it. I don’t need to know how the spark has gone out of their relationship, I don’t need to know if their partner understands them or not, I definitely don’t need to know how guilty cheating on their partner makes them feel; if that’s the case, why the fuck are you cheating on them. No, all I want is a fuck. That’s all I’m there for. Hopefully it’ll be a good fuck, possibly even a memorable fuck, but if not, if nothing else, at least it was a fuck.
Do I feel any responsibility for leading these people astray? The simple answer is no. It’s not as if I have ever forced anyone to fuck me. OK, so I flirt; I make it known that I’m available, but after that, it’s up to them.
Everyone who has ever cheated on a partner has, at some point, made the decision to cheat on their significant other. They can rationalise and justify it any way they choose, but in the end, the responsibility for deciding to cheat rests with the cheater. As someone who has been cheated on myself, and knows how utterly shite that betrayal feels I do have empathy for those partners, but I feel no shame for my own actions. If they weren’t using me as an outlet for their infidelity, they would almost be using someone else and, may indeed, also be using someone else.
The only exception to this was many years ago, before I met Master C, when I spent several months fucking an ex, while he was cheating on the woman he cheated on me with and ultimately left me for. That was an amazing damaging and fucked up period of my life, and I did feel a degree of shame, both in myself and for myself. It was painful, but it taught me some valuable lessons.
At worst, I am an enabler; I am an outlet for their infidelity, but I am not responsible for it, all they had to do was say “no” to my advances. I can accept refusal with as much grace as I do acceptance. After all, if one prospective partner says “no”, the chances are there will be other potential options.
I realise that this post is sounding preachier than I intended; it’s not meant to be preachy at all. As I said at the beginning, I don’t judge. I accept that other people, regardless of their relationship status, enjoy the thrill of a random, casual sexual encounter as much as I do; and if they choose to enjoy said encounter with me (and I always do my best to make sure they do enjoy it), then that’s really a win-win for me.
In fact, there’s really only one reason for establishing the relationship status of someone I fuck, and that’s because it has an impact on the number of lashes of Master C’s belt that I receive as a result of being unable to control my sluttiness.
The point of all this is that I enjoy sex, and I enjoy having sex with multiple partners. I don’t feel shame about the number of partners, male or female that I’ve fucked, nor do I feel any shame on their behalf for the consequences of them fucking me. As I say above, I have never forced anyone to fuck me, so if there are ramifications for them as a result of them fucking me, that is neither my concern nor in my control. Any regrets on my part are limited to the fact that the fuck I received turned out not to be as enjoyable as I had hoped/thought it would be.
I am a slut. I am shameless. I am me.