Watching


The prompt for Kink of the Week has the following quote:

“Voyeurism is a beautiful and delightful thing. There is nothing more intimate than really looking at someone.”

~ Laurel Nakadate

Now, I agree with the above statement, but I also have reservations about it. To me, voyeurism has elements of both pleasure and pain and it largely depends on who I am watching and the circumstances behind it.

For the record, I am very much an exhibitionist; I love the thought that I could be observed and I knowing that people are actually watching me and getting aroused watching me is a massive turn on. That, however, is another post for another time. Let us get back to watching.

For me, there are essentially three different forms of voyeurism and the have different feelings and emotions associated with them.

The first is an what I would describe as participative voyeurism. This happens in a group sex/sex party situation. I’m either watching others fuck while I myself am being fucked, or while I am “between fucks”. In this scenario, I am part of the scene; mine is one of the writhing, pleasure filled bodies. The air is filled with the sounds and scents of people fucking and I am one of those participants making my own contribution to sensual whole. The participants combine and recombine in different pairings, triples, quadruples, or whatever combination of bodies works for the given mood.

From a point of pure hedonism, there is nothing that really comes close to this. Watching the other participants is part of the act itself. As the observer, I am both influencing and being influenced by what I see, what I hear, what I smell, what I taste. I am watching and, simultaneously, being watched; the exhibitionist and voyeur turn-on buttons are both being pressed.

The second is a slightly more passive form of the above. I’m possibly in a swingers’ club or similar. I am watching others fuck, but I am not part of that scene, merely watching others enjoying each other. The sights, sounds and scents are still there, but I am not involved. It’s like a live action porn scene, but without the exaggerated, asthmatic banshee wailing. Unlike the previous situation, I can focus my attention fully on what I am watching. Depending on how close I can be, I can observe the minute little details; the expressions on faces, the changes in breathing, the sounds of two bodies moving together. All of these things are stimulating the pleasure neurons in my brain, triggering a response in me.

I know that, at some point, I will reach a place where I can no longer watch, the need for release will become to great. At that point I will retire to another room and deal with the situation. At that point, I go from being the observer to potentially being the subject of someone else’s voyeurism as the watch me either bring myself off, get fucked by Master C, or, with His permission I fuck someone else.

The final scenario is the one that brings a juxtaposition of emotions. I am tied up, bound, helpless, and I am required to watch as another woman attends to Master C. This is such a hard one because I know what they are enjoying and I know what I’m being deprived of. The dutiful submissive in me is happy for Master C and the pleasure He is receiving, but I am torn because it should be me that is providing it. It should be me that is sucking on that wonderful cock. It should be my cunt that He is feasting on and fucking. It is me that should be receiving that lovely rich, thick load of cum. I should be the one responsible for His pleasure. In an indirect way, I also know that I am. If I’m in this scenario, I’m almost certainly being punished for something and He wouldn’t be being attended to like this if I hadn’t been guilty of some transgression. That, however, is something of a moot point.

Similarly, I am happy for the other woman because I know exactly what she is enjoying; I know the expertise with which Master C’s tongue will drive her repeatedly to orgasm, I know the mastery with which He will fuck her, I can almost feel the pleasure she is feeling, but I should actually be feeling it because all those things should be being done to and with me.

I know that afterwards, Master C will be deeply attentive and will give me what I crave, and I have that to look forward to, but in that moment, there is a delicious mixture of watching Master C fuck majestically and desolation that it isn’t me that is receiving Him.

I think, it’s fair to say, that voyeurism, for me at least, can be something of a complicated issue that ticks so many of my boxes on different levels. It is something that, on the whole, I find deeply arousing. If I had to choose, however, much as I enjoy watching others fuck, on balance, I’d much rather that I was the centre of attention and that it was me that was being watched.

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TMI Tuesday – Nudie Cuties


1. What are your thoughts on public nudity or skimpy clothing?
Firstly, the clothes I wear are primarily for me to feel comfortable/sexy/warm/daring/<insert other mood here> in and for Master C to enjoy. I will often take guidance from Him, however; if he wants me to be revealing/slutty/reserved/etc., then that’s what I will be. I have absolutely no qualms about being naked in public, whether than be in the context of a gathering of our sharing circle, or in a swingers’ club, in my garden where I could, from certain angles, be observed, standing in front of a hotel window, on a nudist beach. I suspect I might draw the line at walking nude to the shops, but Master C has taken photos of me naked and/or engaging in sex in a number of settings where it would be quite easy for others to observe me in my natural state if they happened to pass by.

2. Which of the following best describes you:
a. Exhibitionist
b. Voyeur
c. Keep nudity and things sexual behind closed doors

I suspect the answer to the previous question more or less answers this. I am a combination of exhibitionist and voyeur. There is a definite thrill about the thought that I might be overseen, but actually knowing that I am being watched, whether that be online, or in person, whether my audience is only Master C or “The Other Guy” or whether it is other members of our sharing circle or, again, other visitors to a swingers’ club, is something that takes things to a completely different level. I do, however, also love to watch others. Watching one of the other women in our circle going down on, or being fucked by Master C gives a wonderfully delicious juxtaposition of emotions.

3. What is the most revealing outfit that you have ever worn in public?
If you don’t count a bikini, which in my case, I generally only ever wear the bottoms, in my student days I used to regularly go clubbing in a short skirt that barely covered my arse and a low cut, cropped top that just about kept my boobs out of public display. Underwear was optional.

4. There are only two types of beaches left in the world–clothing optional and must be clothes-free. Which beach will you visit?
Since both allow me to be naked, either is fine with me. I prefer to be as near to naked as is allowable when I’m on a beach. I find sweaty, sticky, clingy scraps of material to be decidedly uncomfortable so if it is permissible to dispense with their dubious services, I will always choose to do so.

5. You have just gotten out of the shower to find that your towel is hanging outside on the clothesline. Your house is full of guests. Do you:
a. Call out for someone to bring your towel.

b. Use something else to dry yourself.
c. Retrieve your towel as inconspicuously as possible wrapping it around you at the earliest chance.
d. Take advantage of the sunshine and dry yourself au naturale in your backyard.

Largely, I guess, this would depend on the nature of the guests present. Master C has contrived to make this very situation occur, and I simply just walked out into the room in all my clean/dripping wet glory. Option d. is a nice idea, but living where I do, the chances of the weather playing along is somewhat remote.

Bonus: Have you ever skinny dipped or visited a nude beach? Pictures would be awesome!
Frequently. I always look for beaches where I can go nude when I’m abroad. I’ve already said that I don’t like material clinging to me in the heat and there is something wonderful about feeling both the sun, and the sea in contact with every inch that is just so freeing and relaxing. If the beach is suitably remote and/or free from other bathers, it also means other activities can easily be indulged in, so long as you’re careful about the sand.

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TMI Tuesday – It’s All Good


1. What’s the most stressful thing in your life right now
Working in mental health care, the most stressful thing now, as it has been for pretty much the last 15 months, is the Covid pandemic. Now that things are becoming less restrictive, different anxieties and pressures are rising to the surface; people are worried about re-emerging back into the world and being amongst people when the situation is still very uncertain.

2. True or False. The best way to get over an ex is to get under someone new.
I’m not sure that it’s true, per se, but I’ve done it often enough in my past to admit that it was definitely one of the more enjoyable bits of having broken up with someone; and it helped take my mind of things.

3. Is rebound sex empowering or does it leave you feeling lonelier?
See previous answer. I wouldn’t say it empowered particularly. I’ve definitely enjoyed the sex in those situations, but then I enjoy sex full stop and have done whether I’ve been in a relationship or been single. It’s lack of companionship that makes you feel lonely and, while sex and companionship can often be found combined in the same person they are separate things. Sex is simply sex, something that can deepen the bonds between people in a relationship but, ultimately, something to be enjoyed whether you’re in a relationship with the person you’re fucking or not.

4. Would you rather watch porn every night forever or never watch porn again?
I enjoy some porn now and again, but I actually don’t really watch a lot of it. Truth be told, I’d much rather be having sex than watching it on screen and, in terms of watching sex, I’d much rather be right there in the room watching (or being watched). Push comes to shove, if I were unable to ever watch porn again, I wouldn’t miss it all that much.

5. Would you rather go to bed alone forever or share a bed with someone forever?
Definitely the latter. I love snuggling up to and falling asleep beside Master C, and I absolutely love that His body, there, next to mine, is the first thing I feel when I wake up.

Bonus: You must pick one and explain. Would you rather your mum or your ex set up and run your dating apps?
Pretty much, with possibly only one exception, I would let an ex handle this. My exes at least know what my tastes and turn-ons (even the one I wouldn’t want involved) so I think they would probably have a good idea of the type of person I’d like (having been in that category themselves at some point) and the kind of things I need to have a satisfying sex-life as well. As for my mum, well we get on well, and have always been frank and open, but there are some things she really doesn’t need to know or get involved in, and I’m sure she’d be happier if I didn’t involve her either.

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The joys of Skype


Skype is the business traveller’s best friend. Even when Master C is as far from home as I can be and still be in Britain, it allows much more in the way of interaction than a simple phone call.

Take last night for example; I’m at home, Master C is in His hotel room, in Bristol. My laptop set up so that it’s camera can take in most of my bed. Maste C calls me and after a few minutes spent describing our respective days to each other, He begins describing what He’d do to me if He weren’t 400+ miles away.

Inevitably, I find myself naked and I’m rubbing moisturiser into my boobs, imagining the gloopy substance is Master C’s cum, as He describes how He’s going to thrash me for being such a dirty little tease.

As my cunt gets hotter and wetter, I long to feel His tongue on my clit. I desperately want to finger myself, make myself come but Master C orders me not to.

A look at the laptop screen and I see him stroking His lovely, thick cock and I so wish it was me doing it to Him.

“Do you want to suck this?” Master C asks. I nod, wishing He was here or I was there so I could take the angry, swollen purple head between my lips.

“Do you want this in your cunt?” Again I nod, moaning confirmation of how much I want Him inside me, stretching me, filling me, fucking me.

“Do you want this in your arse, you filthy little slut?”

“Yes please,” I moan, “please stick your lovely big fat cock up my slutty little arse.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m your filthy little slut and I love taking your cock up my arse.”

“Slut!”

“Yes,”

“Filthy whore!”

“Yes,”

“Finger yourself! Fuck your cunt with your fingers.”

I comply, and as my thumb presses against my clit, I feel my climax ignite.

One orgasm isn’t enough though, and Master C orders me to continue fucking myself. My cunt grips my fingers as I plunge them deep inside me. My clit throbs beneath my thumb. My head tosses from side to side and my back arches. Distantly I hear Him ordering me on, demanding I abuse myself further.

Eventually, after what seems like an eternity of pleasure filled torture, Master C relented. He ordered me to lick my juices from my fingers. I savour the taste as, in the screen, He furiously pumps His cock.

“Come on me!” I gasp, “Cover me with your lovely cum, make me your very own cum-soaked slut.”

He moans my name. “Mmmoooo-ahhhh-rrrraaaggg….” It’s almost a sob as His cock edupts, sending long, thick jets streaking through the air. The rationale part of my brain thinks it’s such a shame all that lovely cum is going to waste, but mostly, I don’t care; my body is too drained to worry about such things.

We sign-off. I switch off the light and curl up to go to sleep and dream filthy dreams. The only thing missing is Master C’s warm, strong body to cuddle up next to.

#MasturbationMonday

Out and about


I am a lover of the outdoors. I love being naked outdoors. There is something inherently natural about it. I love the feeling of the sun on my naked skin. I love feeling those gentle breezes that make the fine hairs stand on end and add to the sensitivity.

Whether it be soaking up the sun on a Greek beach, finding a remote country spot, or just simply lying out in the garden, the feel of the sun’s warmth  and/or gentle breezes all over my skin, there is a glorious natural feeling that simply can’t be replicated.

Sadly, living in a part of the world where the climate doesn’t often lend itself to outdoor nudity, and on those occasions that it does, the chances of them coinciding with me being free are so few and far between, they almost have to be grabbed and exploited.

Of course, if there’s one thing better than outdoor nudity, it’s outside sex. There are any number of places near to where Master C and I live that lend themselves to alfresco loving; whether it’s in the countryside, or various places along the shore, or, should inspiration fail us, our own garden. Of course there are also numerous back alleys and dark closes that lend themselves to drunken, late night quickies, but those are the subject of another post.

The thrill of outdoor sex comes from the risk of discovery; it adds a degree of excitement that makes the experience more intense. For me, the greater the chance of being caught, the sexier the experience is. The only drawback, if you can call it that, is that the riskier the location, the less clothing is likely to be removed. Sometimes the biggest thrill from outdoor sex is doing it in such a way that any people around are unaware that you are doing it.

One of the sexiest experiences I ever had was having sex in the middle of a park in Dublin, the guy I was with sat with his back against a tree, me sat astride him, my knickers pushed aside and me rocking gently as people passed by all around us, unaware (or at least, so I thought) of what was going on almost right under their noses.

Of course, if you can find a remote enough spot, a more leisurely approach can be taken. If it’s warm enough, you can take the risk of stripping off, letting the heat of the sun add to the heat of the situation.

Of course, seclusion is no guarantee of absolute privacy. Ramblers, dog walkers, horse riders and even mountain bikers can, and do, sometimes, appear seemingly out of nowhere. On those rare occasions where an outdoor shag has been interrupted in circumstances such as those just described, the general response has more often than not been embarrassment rather than outrage. On one particular occasion, one couple did stop briefly to enquire if we’d noticed any other likely spots nearby.

I am a big fan of of alfresco nudity, and sex; it’s just a shame that our weather gives us so few opportunities to indulge in such activities. So, when the circumstances and the weather combine to allow me to be naked outdoors, you can be certain that I will take advantage of it.

#MasturbationMonday

Shocks and surprises


The first time I encountered a blow-job face to face, as it were, was an eye-opener to say the least. I’d heard of such things of course but, frankly, to my then 14 year old mind, it seemed positively disgusting and I was certain that nobody I knew would ever do anything like that. I was, of course, wrong; totally wrong; and the manner in which I discovered how wrong I was made it even more shocking.

I hadn’t meant to pry. In fact, I hadn’t even been aware that my sister was in the house, let alone that she had company. My honest and simple intention had been to retrieve a CD that she had ‘borrowed’ from me a couple of weeks earlier and which I now wanted back.

In their defence, they were being very quiet. Apparently they had thought that so long as they didn’t make any noise, then I’d never notice them over the noise of the music I was playing. Well, they were almost right, I guess…

I didn’t actually go into her room. They had kept the door open just a little in the hope that they might hear any approaching interruption (i.e. me, or perhaps mum coming home). However, it seems that their precautions were totally inadequate.

My sister, you see, had a big, full length mirror on her bedroom wall quite close to the door. All I did was push the door open just the tiniest bit more than it already was and I was confronted with the image of my sister, sans top, sliding her lips up and down her then boyfriend’s cock.

Now, if this were some porn story, I’d now regale you with how I stood there transfixed, touching myself and getting all turned on until I betrayed my presence with an orgasmic moan. The truth is, however, that as soon as I recovered from the shock, I beat a hasty, albeit quiet, exit; my CD totally forgotten.

Thinking about it afterwards, I still couldn’t believe that I’d seen my goody-goody older (by just under 3 years) sister do something that to me, still, seemed disgusting.

At the first opportunity, I discussed it with one of my closest girlfriends. I had expected her reaction to by somewhat akin to mine (although with hindsight, I don’t know why I thought that); so I was completely shocked, again, when she just laughed and informed me that “in her experience” it drove guys wild and that she loved it when they couldn’t control themselves any more. The only downside, apparently, was that cum made a mess of your clothes if you weren’t ‘careful’. That was her euphemism for ‘taking it all in your mouth’. She even went so far as to suggest I should try it to give my then boyfriend a treat.

I had been seeing my boyfriend for about 6 months. I’d had other ‘boyfriends’ before him but he was the first one with whom I had ever got past the kissing stage. Not that we’d gone much further. I had got to the stage where I was comfortable with him putting his hand up my top to play with my boobs (and I’ll admit that got me pretty wet) and I’d very recently moved from rubbing his cock through his jeans to actually slipping my hand down inside and actually feeling it in the flesh (although I hadn’t actually seen it at this point…). I had, however, never considered putting his cock in my mouth. Now though, having seen my sister do just that to her boyfriend, and had my best friend just tell me how much she enjoyed sucking cocks (note the plural – and I know for a fact she wasn’t exaggerating), I somewhat unexpectedly found myself warming to the idea.

It didn’t happen immediately. It was another two weeks before I actually plucked up the courage. It was his 15th birthday and I had my fingers around his cock while giving him a very intense birthday snog when I asked him if he’d like an ‘extra special present’.

I’d never seen an erect cock before. Well, not up close and personal (the reflection of the bit of my sister’s boyfriend’s cock that wasn’t in her mouth doesn’t count). To my untrained eye it seemed huge (actually, as it turned out, he was a little bigger than average) and I was a little intimidated by it and, to be completely honest, I didn’t have a clue what exactly I was supposed to do but, after giving it a few mote strokes, I closed my eyes, opened my mouth, and took the head between my lips.

That was pretty much all it took. I just about had time to get used to the idea of his cock being in my mouth when I was choking and spluttering, trying to deal with my first mouthful of cum. And, my friend had been right, it did make a mess of my blouse (she had neglected to make any mention of the actual taste!). I was, however deeply turned-on at the thought that I had caused this reaction, that my mouth had caused him to lose control and shoot his load into it. I just wish I’d had a little longer to savour the experience and that he’d given me at least some warning of his impending eruption.

Needless to say, the blow-job became a regular part of our activities after that and, as well as me getting better at it, and him learning to enjoy it for longer, we quickly moved on to him going down on me too (although it would be another 3 or 4 months before I let him shag me for the first time) All in all, I actually had a lot to be grateful to my big sister for, not that she knew it.

Incidentally, I mentioned my ‘interruption’ to her not that long ago, hence why I know the details of their attempt to avoid discovery, and she confirmed that they had been completely oblivious to the fact. Not only that, but if I’d been a few minutes later, she’d have been riding his cock and not sucking it. I don’t know if that would have shocked the 14 year old me even more…