A moment in time


I was absolutely delighted to see that Quote Quest was returning today. The prompts that LSB sets always make me think and the one chosen to relaunch the meme was no exception:

“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.”

― Dr. Seuss

Now, I’m not going to lie, my take on this prompt is tenuous if not downright tangential, but it’s all about interpretation, right?

It starts, as it so often does, with me restrained, blindfolded, with clamps fixed tightly to my nipples. I am utterly at Master C’s mercy; He is free to do whatever He pleases and I have no way of knowing what He will do next.

What happens is, that Master C spends ages using a variety of toys, His fingers, His tongue to take me to the very brink of orgasm and then hold me there for what seems like an eternity.

That is the “moment” that this post is about.

Master C knows my body. He knows its responses. He knows my levels of endurance. He knows exactly how much suffering juxtaposed with pleasure I can take..

The build up is slow, unhurried. The vibrating head of my wand is placed against my clit for a few seconds. Fingers twist inside my cunt as Master C nibbles, licks and sucks on my clit. The clamps around my nipples are tightened. A cold, smooth glass plug forces my arse open.

Each action is deliberate, measured, calculated. Each stroke, flick, kiss, lick is performed to amplify the feelings I’m experiencing, driving me further along the path towards the precipice.

A pause. Agonising seconds of stillness before He resumes His attentions.

Master C’s tongue flicks over my clit. Fast, then slow, then slower, then rapid. The pressure of His tongue changes, increasing and decreasing. There is no correlation between pace and pressure; He uses His tongue with a long-practised ease to keep me off balance.

He studies my breathing, takes note of the subtle changes of flavour on His tongue as He licks me. Fingers coated with my juices are forced into my mouth as the vibrator’s tip replaces His tongue.

Closer, ever close He pushes me. My eyes are screwed tightly shut beneath the blindfold; lights flash and burn behind my eyelids. My clit throbs. Tremors run up through my cunt to grip my womb.

I reach the precipice. I hover on the edge of the abyss. Master C holds me there.

This is the moment; the moment that feels like eternity, the moment where time loses all meaning. I no longer have any control over my responses; that control belongs entirely to Master C. My body has become a finely tuned instrument for Him to play with an effortless virtuosity.

Fingers, lips, tongue; kisses, caresses, licks and flicks; advances and retreats. My body responds; a reaction to His every action. A reaction but never the final one of release.

Pressure builds, sinews scream, nerves aflame, my consciousness detaches and I almost seem to see myself lying there, helpless to do anything but endure and enjoy what is being done to my body.

Time slows in a kind of dilation of sexual relativity. The time between each breath, each heartbeat, each flick of His tongue becomes immeasurable, meaningless in that eternal now.

The dissociation becomes complete. I can no longer feel my body, I simply feel the flows of sexual energy and tension. And still the release of orgasm is denied me.

This is the moment. I am truly on the brink. I can endure no more. With the slightest touch I will be undone. The next flick of Master C’s tongue on my clit, the next thrust and twist of His fingers inside my cunt will be the spark that ignites me. I exist in that timeless void between breaths, between heartbeats between one stroke of His tongue and the next.

In that heightened state I can feel each minute movement as His tongue moves, micron by micron towards the spot where it will release me. So close, so close, and then…

An explosion of light accompanied by a cry of relief. My back attempts to arch up off the bed but restraints hold me in place. Feeling returns with an intensity that tears flood from my eyes. Spasms convulse, the pent up pressure erupts out in one uncontrolled wave. My consciousness reconnects with my physical self, as my brain struggles to reconnect the fragments of the experience and connect them into something resembling a coherent sequence of causes and effects.

Control slowly returns. Master C releases me and comforts me. I am relaxed, I am satisfied, I am made whole again. The time spent on the edge, those moments before release become memories. The intensity of my climax and the blissful joy that now envelopes me is their value, and that value is priceless.

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My first vibrator


I bought my first vibrator when I was 16. This was in a pre-internet age, where I cut out a coupon from one of my brother’s naughty magazines, paid by postal order (I was too young to have a cheque book or credit card) and had to allow 28 days for delivery and then hope to hell that the discreet packaging it said it would be delivered in was, in fact, discreet, and that my mum didn’t open it for me.

Thankfully it was, and she didn’t.

On the day it arrived, I couldn’t wait to try it. Of course, this pre-internet age was also the age of batteries not included, and as it was a Wednesday (which meant half-day trading in those days, of course), the post hadn’t arrived until after the village shop had shut, I had to improvise.

Now, this was 1991. It was about 6″ long, about 1½” in diameter, shaped like a nuclear missile and, as I was about to find out, about as noisy as one too. It took two “C” size batteries for fuck sake. The only way I could power it up was to steal the batteries from one of the torches in the cupboard under the stairs. When I turned the thing on, I nearly leapt out of my skin; not because of the vibrations, which were powerful enough I guess (having nothing to compare it with), but because of the noise. Discreet, it most certainly was not. Even muffled under the bedclothes, I was certain that it could probably be heard downstairs; hell, my best friend could probably hear it and she lived on the other side of the village.

Suffice to say, while pleasant, and while I did, eventually, get myself off, the whole experience was spent on tenterhooks, expecting at any moment to have someone knocking on my bedroom door, demanding to know what was making all the racket.

The whole experience was, I’ll admit, somewhat disconcerting. Far from needing to peel myself of the ceiling as I’d expected, I found that I could come quicker using my fingers. The one good thing about it was that, when switched off, it made me feel deliciously full, albeit in a hard, inflexible piece of plastic sort of way, which certainly helped me.

As it turned out, it got used more as a dildo than it ever did as a vibrator, the only time I ever dared switch it on was when I knew I had the house to myself. I’d have probably felt safer if I had the entire village to myself, but sometimes you just have to go with what circumstances provide.

The one thing I did make sure of was that the next one I bought, was a hell of a lot quieter.

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It’s not just about orgasms


It’s probably just as well given the ephemeral nature of the female orgasm. Sure, some of are lucky, some of us come quite easily, some of us enjoy multiple ones, some of our orgasms go on for ages (compared to guys, whose tend to be over in a few quick spurts); but even for the least orgasmically challenged of us there are times when it just doesn’t happen. Sometimes we’re not really in the mood, other times we’re just not turned on enough, sometimes were just having sex because it feels nice and we’re not that fussed. As women, we’re probably all familiar with this, it happens, but actually, just having sex is enough for us. But sometimes, occasionally, there is that most frustrating on non-orgasmic situations: the orgasm that got away…

We’ve all been there, I’m almost certain of it. There’s the feeling of anticipation, followed by the intense arousal as our lady-parts grow flushed and increasingly wet. Then there’s that long plateau phase, where the things he (or she) is doing to us feel so good you don’t want them to stop. The sensations grow more intense, you can feel yourself surrendering to the feelings that are so nearly overwhelming you, you’re on the very cusp and then…

  • The cat chooses that moment to jump on the bed;
  • Your mum phones;
  • One of you sneezes/farts or has some other bodily exclamation;
  • He/she changes position, trapping your hair/boob/other part under his/her elbow causing intense unexpected pain; or
  • A host of other possible things that knock you off your stride.

And then it’s gone, and no matter what he/she does, unless they are a miracle worker, it isn’t coming back. Even for those of us for whom climaxing is relatively easy, the very fragile of our orgasms means that we will experience this at some time or another.

For guys, most of the time they generally seem to just be able to carry on until its done, for us however, we just have to resign ourselves to the fact that, this time, it isn’t happening and just enjoy the rest of the fuck.

Fortunately, we enjoy being fucked regardless of whether or not we come. Yes, orgasms are great and ours are every bit as important to us as guys’ orgasms are to them, but really they are the chocolate coated cherry on the icing of the cake.

Great sex is all about making us feel great. Granted, nothing achieves that more than an orgasm (or two, or more), but the truth is orgasms during sex are a bonus, and if we don’t have one during, we can probably dig out our favourite toy and beat one off in pretty short order afterwards; secure in the knowledge that we’ll probably be able to have a couple more before he’s ready again.

The fact that sex is something that can be enjoyed even if, sometimes, orgasm can be elusive is something that I am definitely grateful for.

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Variety


If you have read this blog, you will know that I am a fairly adventurous slut. I’m generally in the mood for trying new things and, when circumstances allow, fucking new people. That being the case it’s probably no surprise that when it came to this week’s questions, I’ve probably tried (and usually enjoyed) most of them.

Tickling
I am extremely ticklish and, I absolutely hate being tickled; particularly my feet and my lower back, but really, just about anywhere. Master C is, of course, aware of this, and delights in using it as a way of tormenting and torturing me. Usually He just uses his fingers, it doesn’t take much to set me off, but other items have included feathers an upholstery brush, woolly gloves, and even the plastic bristles of an old hair brush (the reverse of which was used to spank me when I complained too vociferously about the tickling).

HATE being tickled and yet, when Master C does it to me, I am powerless to resist; I simply have to endure it until He decides to take pity on me and do something else instead.

Food
It can be fun. I’ve had Master C pour melted chocolate over me and nibble it off. I’ve licked chocolate sauce and cream from His cock. He has licked ice cream from my cunt. The most intense experience was when Master C turned me into what He delighted in calling a “Morag Sundae”; hot chocolate sauce on my nipples, ice cream on my cunt. The contrast between heat and cold was mind-blowing and when you factor in what Master C did with His tongue, well, I’m sure you can imagine.

Heat/Cold Play
Well, the food bit above covers that off, but I also enjoy wax play. There’s just something delicious about feeling the heat on my skin, and the way it pinches as it cools and dries. Then there’s the pain as it pulls the fine hairs out of their follicles as it is removed. As someone who has a thing for pain, this is a bit of a double whammy for me. The initial burning heat of the wax and then impromptu depilation.

At the other extreme, ice on my nipples is truly wonderful. In fact, ice being trailed anywhere over my skin is a delightful experience, but when it touches those really sensitive bits, my nipples, my labia, my clit, it sends lightening bolts shooting through me. Having my cunt licked by someone who is sucking on an ice cube is one of the most wonderfully pain/pleasure filled things I have ever experienced.

Blindfold/Restraint
I’ve bundled these together as, so often, they are things that are done at the same time. Being restrained puts me completely at the mercy of the other person; I am completely helpless and vulnerable. Add a blindfold so I have no idea what is about to happen or who is about to do something to me (especially in a group play scenario) and I’m almost certainly going to be wetter than a rainy weekend in next to no time. I love that feeling of helplessness. I love the fact that whoever I am with can do whatever they want with me and to me. I love that I just have to accept that I am about to be used (or not) for the other person’s pleasure and there is nothing I can do to influence or prevent what might happen.

Spankings/Discipline
I mentioned being spanked up above and I have written about discipline many times. It ties into my identity as a submissive and it plays to the pain lover in me. Being punished isn’t about play or spicing things up, it is an essential part of my dynamic with Master C. I am allowed to be the slut I am because there are consequences that I accept. That’s not to say I won’t go out of my way to earn myself a spanking/thrashing; I absolutely will. I love the feel of his hand or his belt marking my skin. To me it’s a reaffirmation of his claim on me and that is something to be cherished.

Casual/Random Sex
Yes, if I really want to “spice” things up, there’s nothing that gets me going more than knowing that, if I want to and am prepared to accept the consequences, I can fuck whoever takes my fancy. I’m not sure if I’m ever going to grow out of the thrill of being dragged into a dark alley behind a pub/club and sucking a total stranger’s cock, or having him fuck me in a doorway; especially when I know that Master C‘s belt will await me when I confess my transgression later.

Being a Slut
I’ve said it before, but I am a slut. Specifically, I am Master C‘s slut. He allows me to explore and be who I am. Really, that is all the spice I need.

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Sex toy?


I love my toys. I have quite a collection.

I have my Doxy massager for when I want to go from 0 – Screaming Orgasm in under 10 seconds. I have my wonderful ben-wa balls that give me such wonderfully intense sensations (particularly when I’m in the gym). I have numerous plugs and clamps that give me the most delicious degrees of discomfort. I have my discreet little “lipstick” vibrator that goes with me wherever I go, just in case. Master C has all sorts of bindings and restraints that he uses on me, and all sorts of implements that can be used for my chastisement depending on the seriousness of any given transgression.

My absolute favourite, number one sex toy if you can call it that) is, however, Master C’s cock.

I absolutely love the things it does to me. I love the way it feels in my hand, mouth, arse or cunt. I love the sensations of being stretched and filled by it. I love how it throbs and pulses and jerks when I touch it. Most of all, I love it because it’s attached to a big, strong, hairy man who knows exactly which buttons to push to give me (and in some cases, deny me) the most thunderous, toe-curling orgasms imaginable. I also have a very big thing for the lovely, hot, sticky substance it produces.

Now, please don’t think I am knocking sex toys. Dear only knows how many I’ve owned since I bought my first vibrator, twenty odd years ago. I have spent many, many pleasurable hours in the company of my toys and they have given me many, many wonderful orgasms. If I’m being honest, my toys have accounted for more orgasms than my human lovers. Nothing, however beats the attentions of a partner who is so fully attuned to your body, its desires and needs.

My Doxy may be able to turn me into a screaming, shuddering mess in less time than it has taken me to write this post, but it won’t cuddle me and hold me close after it has made me come. Nor will it bring me a cup of coffee afterwards.

So toys, yeah, I love them, they bring me unmentionable amounts of pleasure; but for the full, all senses engaged, every nerve ending tingling experience, it has to be Master C and his wonderful cock.

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