Deconstruction


This week’s “No True Way” is on the subject of being broken down:

A submissive needs to be broken down by their dominant

It’s a subject that I have written about before, as it is definitely something that, within my dynamic with Master C, I need and rely upon Him to do. It’s not so much the need to be broken, it’s the need to be taken apart, to release whatever negative energy is keeping me down, and then to be put back together, refreshed and renewed.

For me, pain is an essential when it comes to being “reset”. Master C, being particularly attuned to me moods and their accompanying needs, is usually very good at picking up on when such a reset is needed. Sometimes however, as I’ve previously mentioned, when I need Him to know how badly it is required, I will retreat to the cage, for Him to find me. That is my way of telling Him that there are no restraints on what I am prepared to accept: the clamps around my nipples can be tightened to the absolute maximum, He can wield whatever implement of chastisement He choses to employ as often and with as much force as He deems fit, He can yank my head back by my hair as hard and as far as it will go as He fucks me, He can choke me to the point of almost passing out. In essence, when Master C finds me in the cage, He knows that I am prepared to accept anything up to the point of me resorting to our “stop signals”.

In these circumstances, it isn’t about discipline, or punishment; I haven’t failed in some task or committed some transgression. In these instances it is all about the need for release.

In part, the preparation is as much a part of it. The blindfold so I don’t know what He is going to do. The ball-gag being put in my mouth so I can’t cry out. The clamps being tightened around my nipples. Being frog0marched over to Master C’s “workbench”, being forced roughly on to its hard wooded surface that pushes the clamps on my nipples into my boobs. It’s the harsh, rope bindings around my ankles that will chafe and burn my skin as I struggle. It’s the hook in my arse with its intricate harness that allows my hair to be bound into it, and then twisted to the required tightness. and then there is the waiting before Master C decides what He is going to do.

Often, in these circumstances, His belt will serve simply as an appetiser, a warm-up; turning the cheeks of my arse a rosy red as each lash lands. He will return to my arse later, but next He will remove the ball from my mouth and fuck my face, squeezing my neck with His strong hands as His cock roughly pounds my throat.

He comes, coating my face with a thick load of cum, then picks up the cane.

It swooshes menacingly through the air as it traces an arc towards my backside. It hurts, so much more than the belt does, and so much more because the belt has already done its work.

A twist of the hook harness pulls my hair tighter, pulling my head back further. The rope burns against my ankles.

By the time Master C is finally inside me, fucking me hard from behind while pulling my arms toughly back behind me, I will have been thoroughly beaten and used. If I’m lucky, as His cock takes me, I will have slipped into that almost transcendental state of sub-space, that dissociated almost out of body state of calm, where I can almost observe what is being don to me.

I know that, whatever happens, Master C will ensure that I will begiven the release of climax before He comes again, either in my cunt or over my back.

First my orgasm, and then His, is were the restoration commences. It continues as He unbinds me. It continues as He takes me in His arms, wipes away my tears, strokes my hair. It continues as He gentle massages the soothing balm into my skin, relieving some of the burning from where the cane bit. It continues as He makes me comfortable, and pours me a glass of wine. It continues because Master C is there, He is with me, and I am His.

There are times when the need to be broken like this is fundamental; it goes right to the core of my being. Each time, however, from the ashes I am reborn. I am refreshed and rebuilt. It is one of the greatest gifts that being Master C’s submissive gives me, and one that He gives with such care.

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A moment in time


I was absolutely delighted to see that Quote Quest was returning today. The prompts that LSB sets always make me think and the one chosen to relaunch the meme was no exception:

“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.”

― Dr. Seuss

Now, I’m not going to lie, my take on this prompt is tenuous if not downright tangential, but it’s all about interpretation, right?

It starts, as it so often does, with me restrained, blindfolded, with clamps fixed tightly to my nipples. I am utterly at Master C’s mercy; He is free to do whatever He pleases and I have no way of knowing what He will do next.

What happens is, that Master C spends ages using a variety of toys, His fingers, His tongue to take me to the very brink of orgasm and then hold me there for what seems like an eternity.

That is the “moment” that this post is about.

Master C knows my body. He knows its responses. He knows my levels of endurance. He knows exactly how much suffering juxtaposed with pleasure I can take..

The build up is slow, unhurried. The vibrating head of my wand is placed against my clit for a few seconds. Fingers twist inside my cunt as Master C nibbles, licks and sucks on my clit. The clamps around my nipples are tightened. A cold, smooth glass plug forces my arse open.

Each action is deliberate, measured, calculated. Each stroke, flick, kiss, lick is performed to amplify the feelings I’m experiencing, driving me further along the path towards the precipice.

A pause. Agonising seconds of stillness before He resumes His attentions.

Master C’s tongue flicks over my clit. Fast, then slow, then slower, then rapid. The pressure of His tongue changes, increasing and decreasing. There is no correlation between pace and pressure; He uses His tongue with a long-practised ease to keep me off balance.

He studies my breathing, takes note of the subtle changes of flavour on His tongue as He licks me. Fingers coated with my juices are forced into my mouth as the vibrator’s tip replaces His tongue.

Closer, ever close He pushes me. My eyes are screwed tightly shut beneath the blindfold; lights flash and burn behind my eyelids. My clit throbs. Tremors run up through my cunt to grip my womb.

I reach the precipice. I hover on the edge of the abyss. Master C holds me there.

This is the moment; the moment that feels like eternity, the moment where time loses all meaning. I no longer have any control over my responses; that control belongs entirely to Master C. My body has become a finely tuned instrument for Him to play with an effortless virtuosity.

Fingers, lips, tongue; kisses, caresses, licks and flicks; advances and retreats. My body responds; a reaction to His every action. A reaction but never the final one of release.

Pressure builds, sinews scream, nerves aflame, my consciousness detaches and I almost seem to see myself lying there, helpless to do anything but endure and enjoy what is being done to my body.

Time slows in a kind of dilation of sexual relativity. The time between each breath, each heartbeat, each flick of His tongue becomes immeasurable, meaningless in that eternal now.

The dissociation becomes complete. I can no longer feel my body, I simply feel the flows of sexual energy and tension. And still the release of orgasm is denied me.

This is the moment. I am truly on the brink. I can endure no more. With the slightest touch I will be undone. The next flick of Master C’s tongue on my clit, the next thrust and twist of His fingers inside my cunt will be the spark that ignites me. I exist in that timeless void between breaths, between heartbeats between one stroke of His tongue and the next.

In that heightened state I can feel each minute movement as His tongue moves, micron by micron towards the spot where it will release me. So close, so close, and then…

An explosion of light accompanied by a cry of relief. My back attempts to arch up off the bed but restraints hold me in place. Feeling returns with an intensity that tears flood from my eyes. Spasms convulse, the pent up pressure erupts out in one uncontrolled wave. My consciousness reconnects with my physical self, as my brain struggles to reconnect the fragments of the experience and connect them into something resembling a coherent sequence of causes and effects.

Control slowly returns. Master C releases me and comforts me. I am relaxed, I am satisfied, I am made whole again. The time spent on the edge, those moments before release become memories. The intensity of my climax and the blissful joy that now envelopes me is their value, and that value is priceless.

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Don’t try this at home!


Sometimes I really don’t fully think through the consequences of my actions. Take the following situation for example; a cautionary tale from the early days of Master C and I living together, which was almost custom made for this particular prompt.

It was mid-afternoon one Saturday, and I had just returned home from a morning spent with “The Girl”. I was looking forward to having Master C remind me of “what I’d been missing” while “The Girl” and I had been enjoying each other’s company, in that particular way that He always does, after I’ve finished providing Him with the required and fully detailed account of what we’d got up to.

Having been playing rugby that morning, Master C still hadn’t got home by the time I had, so I had some time on my hands that I needed to use. Being home, alone, and still on a high after an orgasm filled time with “The Girl”, I stripped off and headed to the shower, where I spend a considerable time experimenting with the shower head to determine which angles and pressure had the most pleasing effects. This was followed by an extended session using my fingers and wand, and despite several very intense climaxes, I was still still incredibly randy and feeling decidedly naughty.

So, in my pleasure hormone saturated brain, I hatched a plan to prepare a nice surprise for Master C on his return home.

So, after rummaging in the bottom drawer for the necessary accoutrements, and pausing only to ensure a trail of clothing was strewn artfully up the stairs, I set to work.

First off was to secure my ankles to the foot end of the bed and attach the handcuffs to one of my wrists. Next was to fit and secure the ball-gag and tie the blindfold firmly in place. Finally, and this was the tricky bit, was to wind the handcuff chain around one of the headboard bars before locking the empty cuff around my free wrist. This is not the easiest task while blindfolded and after several failed attempts, and several muffled swear words, I was relieved when I finally managed to click it into place.

Now all that was left was to wait for Master C’s return.

After the initial cunt soaking excitement had passed, a dawning realisation that I hadn’t thought this fully through, began asserting itself on me.

It started with little things like:

Did I remember to lock the door? Or:

Has He got his keys?

Then the slightly darker thoughts like:

What if there’s a fire?

Then full-on panic:

What if mum comes round? She has her own key.

As time went by, there was the, what if He’s hurt himself. That caused a brief thrill of excitement at the thought of Master C being assisted home by a team-mate (or two) who might then join us, but it was quickly replaced with: “what if He’s really hurt himself and is in casualty”?

As the enormity of my predicament finally penetrated, I had one last, horrific thought:

Where the fuck is the cat?

By this stage, any randiness or anticipatory excitement had completely drained away and, resigned to my situation, I gave up and, somewhat surprisingly, fell asleep.

I didn’t hear the lock turn, I didn’t hear Master C make His way up the stairs; I was eventually awakened to the sound and sight of Him almost pissing himself laughing at my predicament. Which elicited a somewhat grumpy, “Well don’t just stand there laughing. After all the bother I’ve gone to, the least you could do is take advantage of me…” Which, from around my ball gag, probably sounded more like “Mmmph, unof! Umph, fmbl, gurrumph hmmm, ach!” Still, to be fair, after regaining His composure, take advantage of me He did; very thoroughly, and I enjoyed it imensely.

Of course, due to the ball-gag situation, I had to wait until Master C had finished His initial “taking advantage” before being able to recount my earlier activities with “The Girl”. This resulted in me being briefly released while I turned onto my front, having my arse soundly thrashed before being very soundly reminded of “what my holes are for” and ended with a load of Master C’s cum being deposited over my face.

So yeah, clouds and silver linings. I accept that, shining the cold light of hindsight on the situation, it wasn’t one of my cleverest moments. Having said that it wasn’t the last time that I acted before properly thinking things through and I’m almost sure to have further misadventures in future.

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Almost limitless


When it comes to sex, I’ve always had a fairly “anything goes” attitude. I’ve always been willing to try new things, I like to experiment, I like to have my boundaries pushed.

There is a difference, I think, between boundaries and limits. My boundaries have definitely expanded since I started on my sexual journey. My natural curiosity led me to try (and enjoy as it turned out) things like anal, sex with other women, group-sex, bondage, swinging, etc. I’ve had casual sex with both men and women, I get off on risky situations such as sex in fairly public place where there is a risk (to varying degrees) of getting caught. In my student days, I once even caught a night bus back from a club with a guy’s cum (albeit dried by the time the bus finally showed up) all over my face.

There is a thrill of trying new things, of experiencing new sensations in different circumstances. Far from being limits, my boundaries are simply things I haven’t tried. Some I have actively wanted to do, some I was less keen on trying, and some, up until I found myself doing them, I hadn’t even considered.

There are, however, a few things that I won’t do.

Anything involving scat/urine/blood is out.  While I have no problem (massive understatement) with anal, rimming is something I won’t do. Similarly, if a cock has been in my arse, even though a condom has been worn, it isn’t going anywhere else until it has had a bloody good wash.

One final thing: needles.  I have a pathological fear of them. I even have to get knocked out when I go to the dentist. So, they are an absolute no-no.

I don’t really have many limits, and those that I have are definitely hard, and, have remained constant from the very start.

Apart from those, as I said at the start, anything goes.

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Showing a little restraint


There is something delicious about being completely at another person’s mercy. Throw in a blindfold so that I have no idea what the other person is going to do, and you have an instantly quivering Morag who is just about ready to come before she’s even been touched.

But much as I enjoy being tied up, I also occasionally love playing the part of the restrainor. It’s a power thing, I freely admit. I find absolute trust to be immensely sexy.  For me, the whole thing isn’t about pushing the other person to the limits of their endurance (and to be honest, I don’t think I could do that to Master C even though I’m sure He is at least physically capable of doing that to me); it’s about trusting them absolutely to know how far they can go.

I enjoy the helplessness of being tied up, gagged and blindfolded; having to take whatever is inflicted upon me, but on those rare occasions when the tables are turned, the feeling of power and control is as much of a turn on as is the helplessness of being tied spread-eagle to the bed and having Master C do whatever He desires.

I know that using just my lips, teeth, tongue and fingers, I can have Master C whimpering, desperate for release in a matter of minutes. What’s more, it is fully in my power to grant or deny Him the pleasure of that release. The restrainor holds all the aces and the restrainee just has to accept whatever is being done to them.  As someone who is usually on the receiving end of such situations, I find these occasional reversals to be extremely arousing. Sometimes the hardest thing in these situations (other than Master C‘s cock) if for me not to release Him and have Him do whatever He wants to me.

I know, from experience, that I can deny Master C for over an hour, teasing and torturing Him with my mouth and fingers until I impale myself on His straining cock and feel his rich, Hot cum erupt inside me with a force that makes my eyes water.  I know that. although Master C is bound and “helpless” in these situations, He is still able to reward me for pleasuring Him.

Similarly, when I am the one being done to, my orgasm is completely in Master C‘s hands, to grant or deny as he sees fit. When Master C has me at His mercy, it is my turn to endure/enjoy the exquisite agony of being entirely under another person’s control.

Silk scarves, ropes, handcuffs, and blindfolds all figure in our restraining of each other. Master C frequently requires me to wear my ball-gag which adds yet another element to it; denying me the ability to verbally articulate my discomfort/pleasure.

So yes, we both like to restrain and be restrained; but great sex is all about exploring the boundaries of what turns us on, and as far as I’m concerned, the sex Master C and I have goes way beyond great.

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