Accepting pain


Balance, in the context of a D/s relationship is, I believe, constantly evolving. As a submissive learns their limits and boundaries, so must the Dominant evolve to be able to help the submissive explore and then possibly further expand those limits. A common perception about D/s is that it is the Dominant partner who sets the rules, but actually it is very much a two-way conversation.

By way of example, I will use my own relationship with pain.

Pain is a big thing for me. I’ve discovered that it centres and balances me. I’ve written many times about my need for a restorative thrashing, about how I need to feel Master C’s belt or paddle or cane on my buttocks, how I heed to feel His hand constrict my throat when He fucks me, how I need Him to fuck me hard in the cunt, in the arse, in the throat, and to show me no mercy when He is using me. I want that treatment; I need that treatment. I am, without doubt, very much a masochist.

Master C, on the other hand, is not by nature particularly sadistic. He is very much the guide, protect and nurture sort of Dominant; he prefers to educate rather than to correct.

The problem for Master C is that He has me as His submissive, and I need a lot of correction. Again, I’ve mentioned it many times on here, but I will often go out of my way to require “correction”; I will contrive to be punished just so I can have that slap of His hand on my face, the kiss of His belt or the bit of the cane on my arse.

A big part of the evolution of our dynamic has been for Master C to go against His natural inclinations, He is really a big softie at heart, and to administer the discipline I need and to inflict the levels of pain that take me out of myself. There are times when my life is getting on top of me that I need Master C to break me down and rebuild me. I need Him to really hurt me.

Despite the fact that He will often precede such a session with an admonishment to me to “be brave”, this is when Master C needs to find the courage and steel Himself to do something that He admits, were it not for our D/s context, He would find abhorrent.

It really isn’t me that is being brave when I’m fastened securely in place and enduring the pain of whatever implement has been chosen to leave its marks on my skin and turn my buttocks a deep, angry shade of crimson; it is Master C. He has to find it in Himself to hurt me and take me to the very limits of what I can bear, and that is no easy task. He knows what I want, He knows that I accept such treatment willingly, He knows that this is who I am; that the woman He loves and who submits to Him, needs Him to hurt her.

I’ve seen the anguish behind His eyes, the clenching of His jaw as He raises His belt. I have sensed His relief at the end of a particularly hard session, when He runs me a bath or just holds me tight against Him, soothing me with His hands, His words and just His presence. Master C knows that when I say “Thank you, Sir!” after one of those sessions, that I genuinely DO mean it; the blow-job that I am often “required” to give Him afterwards is simply a further confirmation of my gratitude; and as I’ve pointed out countless times, I never really need an excuse to have Master C’s cock in my mouth.

I don’t need to be brave when Master C punishes me; I need that pain and I know that ultimately He has a limit beyond which He will not go. It is Master C who needs to be brave and my gratitude towards Him for finding the courage to regularly satisfy such a deep-rooted need in me is boundless.

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6 thoughts on “Accepting pain

  1. Christian_who April 15, 2021 / 10:57

    Have you ever considered, Mòrag, to let Master C. give you into other hands. Into the hands of a real sadist who enjoys inflicting pain and hurting you?

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    • Mòrag April 15, 2021 / 14:53

      It’s a consideration, but outside our poly-circle (when we’re able to do such things again) I don’t really want anyone else to hurt me other than Master C. That is our thing, our bond; and He gives me the pain I need.

      Like

  2. Marie Rebelle April 15, 2021 / 15:23

    That last paragraph says it all, and I do think it takes being brave to some extent from both sides where pain is involved, sometimes more on the one side than the other, like you have clearly said here. I know for me it also depends on my mindset of that moment. If I am feeling a bit low, I need much more courage than when I am feeling high. Great post!
    ~ Marie

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    • Mòrag April 15, 2021 / 16:16

      Mood definitely does play a part; although in my case, the lower I am, the more I am likely to need the restorative power of a thorough thrashing to bring me back to a sense of equilibrium. People are strange; that’s what makes each of us unique and interesting.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. May More April 15, 2021 / 21:43

    Loved this- how u can see what it takes for him – great!
    May x

    Like

    • Mòrag April 16, 2021 / 11:25

      Again, it’s a two-way thing; I can see what it takes and He can see what I need, and somewhere we have developed so that these are able to meet in ways that are mutually satisfying.

      Liked by 1 person

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