If you’ve indulged in any form of group-sex activity, the chances are that you have watched your partner have sex with another person. In these situations, you are either an active participant, or are watching after having been involved in your own activity, or are waiting to take you part in this, or some other activity. In any event, you are either an active participant or actively on the periphery and it’s all extremely hot and everyone (hopefully) has a great time.

An altogether different experience is when you are required to watch your partner have sex with someone else and you are not able to participate in any way, not even able to play with yourself; the only thing you can do and watch. It is a situation that, as part of our poly-circle, I have experienced on a number of occasions; bound and restrained to a chair, unable to move, unable to complain past the gag in my mouth watching as Master C pleasures and takes pleasure from one of the other women in the circle.

It’s a strange mix and mash-up of emotions to watch in such a situation. On the one hand, I am happy for Master C that he is experiencing whatever pleasure being with the other woman gives Him, but obviously it hurts that it is not me that is the source of that pleasure. I can feel joy for the woman’s pleasure, knowing how expertly Master C will use His mouth, His hands, His tongue, His cock to give her pleasure while He takes His from her, but I will still feel a sadness and envy that it is not me that is feeling those things.

As she sucks His cock, I can see from the expression on Master C’s face and the sounds that He is making, that He is enjoying her mouth and I am happy for Him that He can enjoy it; while at the same time I am frustrated that I am not the cause of those reactions.

As Master C fucks her right there, long and hard in front of me, I know exactly what she is feeling. I know how good it must be for her to be fucked by Him, but I want it to be me, I year to have Master C’s cock inside me, doing to me what He is doing to her.

When Master C feasts on her cunt, driving her to the brink of climax and holding her there, I know exactly what she is experiencing. I know what it feels like, that exquisite balance of pleasure and frustration, the intense waves of pleasure and the urgent need for release. I am happy for her, I empathise with her, I sympathise with her, and I also hate her, because it should be me being held mercilessly on the edge waiting for release, not her. Master C should be feasting on me, driving me wild. I know He is enjoying the taste of her cunt, I know He is savouring her response to the expert application of His tongue. I know she is enjoying it. And I so want it to be me.

When at last, Master C comes, showering her skin with a thick load of His lovely, thick cum, I can rejoice in His climax, and yet feel an emptiness that His load was not my reward but hers.

The whole experience, for me, is one of frustration and humiliation, and yet, I am extremely turned on. My cunt is wet, I squirm uncomfortable in my bindings against the hard wooden seat below my naked buttocks.

The other woman’s partner unties me, and beckons me to join him. Master C instructs the other woman to take my place on the chair before proceeding to gag and bind her, just as I had been gagged and bound just moments before.

I kneel before the other man, take His cock in my mouth. Now it is her turn to watch and suffer.

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9 thoughts on “Juxtaposition

  1. Marie Rebelle March 6, 2021 / 20:31

    I can totally understand this, wanting him to have pleasure, but you wanting to be the source of his pleasure too. There definitely is something humiliating and sexy in that.
    ~ Marie

    Liked by 2 people

    • Mòrag March 6, 2021 / 21:19

      That pretty much sums me up, I love that contradiction of arousal and humiliation. I know I will get my turn, but I love/hate the situation I described.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. MrsK March 6, 2021 / 23:33

    OOOfff, that last line hit me right between the eyes!

    I have never been in a poly arrangement (not for lack of desire, simply reciprocated intrigue) but can imagine that it could create an emotional cocktail of delicious sexual energy… in the right situation.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Mòrag March 7, 2021 / 11:08

      It definitely isn’t for the faint-hearted or insecure. It does create the most intense rollercoaster of emotions, but I know that afterwards, Master C will lavish care and attention on me, and that just makes it an even better experience. It is definitely a situation where the Dom needs to be lavish with their aftercare.

      Liked by 3 people

  3. David Mei March 7, 2021 / 19:28

    Poly is a very interesting relationship. I have learned compersion for those I love enjoying themselves and being happy. I fight my own insecurities of “am I good enough” which I now understand I am more than good enough. But I am not always what is wanted.
    I have to learn that my Kitten on her youth has not experienced what I have with my journey to here. She is free to explore if something safe comes up.
    If she found a Dom she trusted who was more experienced than me and could give her that relationship of discipline she craves. I’m not sure my ego is strong enough yet to absorb.
    Fortunately she isn’t looking and she and I talk about what it will take to get there.
    When she does experience someone outside of our quad she often comes back seeking my security which makes me feel extremely well loved and she revels in the security of

    Your blog posts are giving me a lot of food for thought today.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mòrag March 8, 2021 / 20:23

      I think I share a lot in common with her. Yes, I seek out experiences with others to satisfy some deep inner need in me, but it is always Master C that I ultimately need and want and whose comfort, guidance, discipline, support and safety I return to. Others may fuck me,but He understands me and accepts the responsibility and challenges that comes with that understanding and, for that,I am truly grateful and honoured to give Master C my submission.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. May More March 10, 2021 / 11:46

    This is a brilliant post Morag. – the way you express what you are feeling – i really got it
    May x

    Liked by 1 person

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