It’s not just about orgasms


It’s probably just as well given the ephemeral nature of the female orgasm. Sure, some of are lucky, some of us come quite easily, some of us enjoy multiple ones, some of our orgasms go on for ages (compared to guys, whose tend to be over in a few quick spurts); but even for the least orgasmically challenged of us there are times when it just doesn’t happen. Sometimes we’re not really in the mood, other times we’re just not turned on enough, sometimes were just having sex because it feels nice and we’re not that fussed. As women, we’re probably all familiar with this, it happens, but actually, just having sex is enough for us. But sometimes, occasionally, there is that most frustrating on non-orgasmic situations: the orgasm that got away…

We’ve all been there, I’m almost certain of it. There’s the feeling of anticipation, followed by the intense arousal as our lady-parts grow flushed and increasingly wet. Then there’s that long plateau phase, where the things he (or she) is doing to us feel so good you don’t want them to stop. The sensations grow more intense, you can feel yourself surrendering to the feelings that are so nearly overwhelming you, you’re on the very cusp and then…

  • The cat chooses that moment to jump on the bed;
  • Your mum phones;
  • One of you sneezes/farts or has some other bodily exclamation;
  • He/she changes position, trapping your hair/boob/other part under his/her elbow causing intense unexpected pain; or
  • A host of other possible things that knock you off your stride.

And then it’s gone, and no matter what he/she does, unless they are a miracle worker, it isn’t coming back. Even for those of us for whom climaxing is relatively easy, the very fragile of our orgasms means that we will experience this at some time or another.

For guys, most of the time they generally seem to just be able to carry on until its done, for us however, we just have to resign ourselves to the fact that, this time, it isn’t happening and just enjoy the rest of the fuck.

Fortunately, we enjoy being fucked regardless of whether or not we come. Yes, orgasms are great and ours are every bit as important to us as guys’ orgasms are to them, but really they are the chocolate coated cherry on the icing of the cake.

Great sex is all about making us feel great. Granted, nothing achieves that more than an orgasm (or two, or more), but the truth is orgasms during sex are a bonus, and if we don’t have one during, we can probably dig out our favourite toy and beat one off in pretty short order afterwards; secure in the knowledge that we’ll probably be able to have a couple more before he’s ready again.

The fact that sex is something that can be enjoyed even if, sometimes, orgasm can be elusive is something that I am definitely grateful for.

Food For Thought Friday - #F4TFriday

3 thoughts on “It’s not just about orgasms

  1. @F4TFriday November 23, 2018 / 18:18

    As a guy who occasionally experiences anorgasmia, I would agree that while orgasms are great, sex is definitely still enjoyable without one. It’s a different “enjoyable” but it is still something to wallow in and savour.

    Like

  2. surreptitiousbliss November 24, 2018 / 22:05

    I’ve actually developed the ability to experience simulated orgasms without being aroused. Interestingly, as a heterosexual guy, it’s easier to experience this imagining I’m female. The key is that, the true essence of orgasm, is not feeling anything at all.

    Like

  3. MPB November 25, 2018 / 11:44

    The one where your mum rings. Yes, that has happened to me / us far too many times. Orgasms without something untoward happening are definitely to be grateful for.

    Like

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